Survivor 49

originally aired September 24, 2025 to December 17, 2025

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Nicole (Kele) What a great tribe...Ha! The beginning of this season was an Ulong experience, and Nicole would certainly have fit right in with Ulong back in Palau.
• Annie (Kele) Ditto.  Not only were these two annoying, but they were as hapless as anyone from that long ago tribe.
• Jake (Kele) The biggest and worst loss of Kele, and the season in general, thoroughly dominated every aspect of the game until some jerk of a snake took him out...The kind of personality that seems increasingly impossible for the casting crew to find, would've been at home at literally any other point in the show's history, right from the very start, when quirky was the order of the day, to the present, where ruthless strategizing has become such a burden that, well, you end up with a season like this.  Wasn't brought back for Season 50, and I'm sure there was a good reason.  Maybe this time he really did prioritize his young family.
• Jeremiah (Kele) Too often the show casts players like this.  Thankfully this one didn't last very long.  The one gift of Kele!  The exotic gay man.  Not so much because he's gay, but that they thought, yet again, they were killing two birds with one stone.  I never really wanted to see a Yam Yam again.  So, so long, Jeremiah.
• Matt (Hina) Kind of the prototype of the whole season, vastly overthinking his backstory and its significance to his gameplay, but otherwise a fun guy to have around, and a shame he was voted out so soon.  But that's what kept most of the people who went deep in.  Not because they were good.  But because they got rid of the good ones...
• Jason (Hina) Case in point!  Very easy to like, one of two alternates who got to play this season because two players started playing (this deep into the run and they don't know better???), and so of course he hadda go...
• Shannon (Uli) One of the big eliminations that actually meant something, probably the first and only time Sage used her wicked powers to effect.  Every other time she got what she wanted, it only hurt her. I just realized Shannon was the yoga lunatic.
• Nate (Uli) The film producer who kept his secret identity hidden, for no reason (I miss when they cast openly famous people), whose presence kept people playing who shouldn't.  That's his legacy.  
• MC (Hina) A challenge threat but also very unfortunately someone who had no idea how to navigate the needlessly cutthroat, convoluted gameplay this season. 
• Alex (Kele) One of two remaining original Kele, very likable, and unfortunately very much another victim of how this season played out.  Deserved so much better.
• Jawan (Uli) One of two victim complex players who very unfortunately got to have most of their own way this season, and his elimination led directly to Savannah's victory.  Very, very creepy guy, clearly obsessed with her.  If he'd been smart enough to get past that and actually work with her, she still probably would've won.  But he would come off so creepy.
• Sophie (Hina) For a brief shining moment her gameplay flared brilliantly...and then she needed to go, and she just didn't have the necessary strategic sense to stay in this particular season.
• Steven (Hina) After Jake, very, very clearly the most viewer-friendly player this season, and a pretty decent player...Just not for this kind of season.
• Kristina (Hina) Reading her thoughts after elimination, even the edit can't possibly salvage such a ridiculous ego.  A complete afterthought the whole season, kept around because she wasn't a threat...Too often this kind of player ends up in the finals.  Thankfully, not this time...
• Rizo (Uli) Beyond obnoxious, and they decided to bring him back for Survivor 50...Clearly cast to represent the doofus influencer generation, periodically trying to sell his backstory to feel sympathetic, but spent the majority of his time lost in his own ego.  Kept that hidden idol even while constantly reminding everyone he had it, rubbed it in their faces at tribal council, never figured out he didn't need to play it because he'd just be eliminated, one way or another, because he was being used the whole time...Failed at the classic fire-making challenge, because of course he never cared about actually playing Survivor at any level...
• Sage (Uli) Late in the game, after Shannon's boot, I became confused, as I tend to in recent years, remembering what happened previously.  I honestly convinced myself it was Sage running all those yoga sessions, but it was Shannon.  So I actually have Sage to thank for rescuing me from my single least favorite element of the season.  But then Sage just, in the edit, came off as too petty (along with Jawan, leaving a bad taste in my mouth about the kind of gameplay that worked for so long in the game).  I guess, having realized that, and reading how she viewed her edit, I might have a bit more sympathy.  It doesn't change how her gameplay played out, however, or how desperately she tried to rationalize it (I'll never appreciate Phillip more, not even for influencing Boston Rob to actually write his rulebook).  Hopefully letting this sit a little might help her see her life with a little more clarity.
• Sophi (Kele) Willing to do anything to stay in the game, and inexplicably it worked, because after the Kele implosion and all the twists and turns of resulting tribe swaps, she stuck around, and she no doubt at some point convinced herself it was because of brilliant gameplay.  There was none of that this season.  Except by:
• Savannah (Hina) Her ego is certainly one thing, but her backstory helps explain it, and hopefully she can get over that, now.  Very successfully navigated the chaotic waters of the season, with a psychotic stalker (Jawan) doing everything possible to undermine her, and working, ultimately, against Sage's brainwashed masses, and pulling out immunity victory after immunity victory, and ultimately a very classic model of Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.  A very worthy winner.  Always happy to be able to say that.

Survivor 49: Quick Thoughts

 So Savannah was declared winner. Couldn’t be happier! I would’ve been very pleased with Jake, if he’d been able to stay in the game, or Steven (with no apologies whatsoever to Rizo, if there was indeed a legend playing this season it was Steven), but Savannah was the one who embodied the classic Outwit Outplay Outlast trifecta, and I was rooting for her all season. Alex, more than Sophi. Risked more, played more. MC, if she knew had to strategize. Sophie, if she knew how to strategize. But a lot of the season was playing with bad options no matter how often the tribes were shuffled. And Savannah navigated it brilliantly. The edit made it look like she was basically completely isolated all season, and in some ways she was, but she also had allies, she worked to keep herself in the game. There were a lot of foolish players this season, and they sometimes worked in perfect tandem, and one of them made it to the finals, and got her one vote from another…Listen, you can certainly implode alliances for no other reason than your gameplay really is that strong (Kim in One World being the prime example), but…if it isn’t, you shouldn’t and hopefully can’t win. 

So congratulations, Savannah!

Survivor 48

 originally aired February 26, 2025 to May 21, 2025

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Stephanie (Vula) The first victim of a terrible tribe and/or Sai.
• Kevin (Vula) The first victim of Sai and Cedrek's strange alliance, and the second victim of Mary's inability to counteract Sai's influence on the tribe.
• Justin (Vula) I loved this guy mostly because he works at a pizzeria and wore a shirt that said "Pizza." But he didn't get much by way of an edit, and he was literally the bargaining chip Cedrek offered to try and make peace between Sai and Mary.  That is not a good way to go.  This was a truly idiotic tribe.
• Thomas (Lagi) This right here is where everything went wrong this season, the fact that Thomas had any impact at all.  He shouldn't.  His elimination emboldened, probably, Shauhin, and influenced how poorly that played out the rest of the season.  But more on that later.
• Bianca (Lagi) Another victim of Cedrek's bizarre gameplay.
• Charity (Civa) Another enabler of Sai.
• Saiounia (Vula) The one truly awful aspect of this season was Sai, and not just Sai herself but how much the edit loved her (please don't chime in if you were somehow a fan), and how much influence she inexplicably had on the proceedings.  Her exit before the jury was the best thing that could've happened.  She was lunatic enough to suggest she'd've actively sabotaged its proceedings if she'd made it.  So long, good riddance.  
• Cedrek (Vula) The bizarre flipside of the fruitful two-person alliances that were Joe/Eva and Kyle/Kamilla was Cedrek's inability to see how little value there was in humoring Sai.  His only role was trying desperately to believe she had value.  She did not.  And so he did not.
• Chrissy (Civa) The latest player I really didn't see much value in, second member of the jury.
• David (Civa) Such a rollar coaster ride for this guy!  A member of what I dubbed the Good People Alliance, as he was actually worth rooting for, and so were the other members (so long as they were actually true to the alliance), with a sympathetic story (the Good People Alliance was packed with those; the only player this season who had one who wasn't in was Mitch, which not even Mitch ever realized).  But he couldn't manage his alliance very well, couldn't sell Joe on the obvious reality of Kyle and Kamilla working together, Kyle actively working against his own alliance's interests...Then he gets voted out, joins the jury, and forgets everything that made him great.  Votes for Kyle to win.  For some reason.
• Star (Lagi) I loved Star.  She just didn't have any play this season.  She was the outsider looking in, just in abject amusement at everything happening around her.  I'd absolutely love to see her play again.
• Mary (Vula) The best player, the flipside of Star, to have no play deep into the game, and like Star, awesome to have around just to be able to watch.  
• Shauhin (Lagi) As hopelessly delusional as he happened to be, when Shauhin wasn't deep in his own head he was a good hand to have in the Good People Alliance.  He never realized his only play was to stay loyal.  He couldn't manage that.  He also couldn't admit that he couldn't manage that.  So he voted for Kyle instead of Joe to win.
• Mitch (Civa) Such an annoying player!  Constantly complaining that he was on the outside looking in, talking about making moves...Then never doing anything.  Just wanted to be handed the victory, really.  Didn't seem aware that he was playing Survivor.
• Kamilla (Civa) The secret hand behind Kyle, right up to the end.  Clearly a big game player, but also had no clue how to actually play.  This only worked because Kyle was a member of the Good People Alliance.  I would be much more willing to see her play again, though, than Kyle.  At least she was honest about her gameplay.
• Joe (Lagi) Thoroughly dominated this season.  I guess a lot of fans got tired of his Good People vibe, and I guess even he got a little carried away at times (he was the reality of the perception some players tried to make out of Tom in Palau).  More in a moment.
• Eva (Lagi) One of the most sympathetic players ever (though of course fans got tired of her, too), leaning, eventually, on her shortcomings but also knowing how to use them, not exploit them, mostly because Joe so readily opened himself to not only being a human being to her, but an ally without reservation.  And she and Joe worked the numbers, found allies, and if everyone had remained loyal, as they claimed they would, one of them would be the winner this season.  
• Kyle (Civa) Brilliant gameplay insofar as working two separate alliances, one the group that kept him in control of his fate, and the other that he used as an insurance policy even though it never really knew how to do anything right.  It was only the fact of the Good People not being as Good as they seemed that allowed him to reach the end, and win.  I see the clever maneuvering.  I do.  But I cannot condone it.  I can't call it deliberate.  It fell into victory.  It required David to become embittered (no matter how he tried to play it), Shauhin to reveal how thin his allegiances were, and even Kamilla's apparent schoolgirl crush on a guy who was literally about to (and did) get married.  That's how I see it, anyway.  A memorable season.  Didn't end on the note it deserved.  Casting is just too determined to find conniving players.  This season was a flash on the spirit of earlier days, when it was okay to be good and still have a shot at winning.

Survivor 47

originally aired September 18, 2024 to December 18, 2024

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Jon (Gata) Probably one of the most gratuitous first boots in Survivor history, a good talker hyped by production who subsequently got virtually zero actual screentime.  Basically the epitome of the season, everyone gunning to make a mark and eliminate the competition, with no one really in control, and so a lot of good players went to waste through sheer attrition.  Also the first indication that Sam was (and wasn't) a big game player.
• TK (Tuku) This was basically the entire season, just a lot of maneuvering.  My memory of the early season tends to weaken these days, so I don't remember TK so much.  Sorry.
• Aysha (Lavo) Just plain don't remember her, either.  Sorry!
• Kishan (Lavo) Pointedly, these past two boots were the result of Rome's maneuvering.
• Anika (Gata) Here's the first of the players I gave nicknames to this season.  My texting buddies heard these nicknames all the time.  Anika (except in exact spelling) shares her name with Star Trek: Voyager's Seven of Nine, so that's how I referred to her.  Otherwise the victim of when Sam was really playing, mostly motivated by desperately trying to figure out why Andy was still in the game.
• Rome (Lavo) I loved Rome's hustle.  Like Jon I think he just found himself in the wrong season.  A lot of what happens in a season depends on casting and how players react to each other.  It took Boston Rob four tries to win, but everyone knew even though he got voted out so early his first season there was something special about him.  Rome isn't exactly Boston Rob, but if he'd had anything to play with he'd have done much better.  Easily.  
• Tiyana (Tuku) I just realized that a large part of why it's been difficult to remember the early boots recently is the aftershow, what used to be the reunion, that since 2020 has really only been the jury, which means all the early players, half the players, are even for the show itself basically an afterthought.  Which is a huge disservice.  But Tiyana's ultimate legacy is basically Rachel's first real move to victory.
• Sierra (Gata) My sister says she's the one who was in a showmance with Sam, but this was something featured more in conversation than the edit.  Which goes to show how crucial it is to have the season edited fairly.  I've been dissatisfied with the editing for a while now, which is all the more astonishing given the supersized episodes that're supposed to give more room for the human element that still gets neglected.  That used to be the best part of Survivor.  Too many players aren't nearly the strategists they think they are.  This isn't Big Brother.  Let Survivor be Survivor.
• Sol (Lavo) Often neglected in the edit but usually worth paying attention to when included, but ultimately not much of a factor in the how the season played out.
• Gabe (Tuku) My most infamous nickname, as I referred to him as Maui, from Moana, throughout the season, given the reasonable visible resemblance.  Like Sol not overly featured in the edit, but unlike Sol, usually in the actual mix of events, just never really in control of anything.  I didn't actively hate anyone this season, and Gabe was someone I actively liked, and not just because he looked fun.
• Kyle (Tuku) My sister agreed that Kyle gave off Ian (Palau) vibes in his layback attitude.  But I guess this also means we might now know what would've happened to Ian without Tom.  Because Kyle certainly never had a Tom.  Unfortunately.  Probably the most likable player this season.
• Caroline (Tuku) One of the prime movers in a season filled with subprime movers, if that makes sense.  
• Andy (Gata) I called him Young Johnny Depp early on.  A lot.  Because that's what he looks like.  Or, I guess, Young Jack Sparrow.  Anyway, if he'd made it to the finals he would've been my absolute pick to win.  Just one of the most inexplicable journeys in Survivor history, from someone who had a nervous breakdown and asked to be voted out, to arguably the player most likely to dominate strategy and results.  Should definitely, definitely get another chance to play.
• Genevieve (Lavo) Another of the subprime movers.  I never really saw her as a dominant player, but she was game for making moves, or trying.
• Teeny (Lavo) Gosh, I really, really wanted to like her, but she turned out to be not much of anything.  Lots of growing up to do.
• Sue (Tuku) A fairly delusional player (make of that what you will, but we at least have plastic surgery as part of the inclusion package now), unaware that she made it to the finals mostly because she was the least deserving.  It had nothing to do with her age.  That's her own obsession.
• Sam (Gata) I had a nickname for him, but I don't remember it, mostly because his gameplay and effectiveness was so erratic.  Obviously after a certain point he simply got good at the war of attrition, although very late he realized he needed to have some actual credentials.  But he didn't deserve to win.
• Rachel (Gata) A genuinely worthy winner, and exactly who I wanted to see claim the title by the time Andy was booted.  Usually when someone's outside the ranks of players I'm actively rooting for, I don't have that much time for them, but Rachel was an exception.  Her allies were one thing, but Rachel was adept at making the right moves, and then she became dominant, and then she became inevitable.  I don't know that she claims truly elite status, because she's still a product of a specific kind of gameplay where the field was level and it was scrambling all season long, and she didn't really stand out until late in the season.  But when the going got tough, she got tough, too.  That's outplaying, outwitting, and outlasting.  Definition of the game.

Survivor 46

originally aired February 28, 2024 to May 22, 2024

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Jelinsky (Yanu) One of several players this season who should never've been cast, Jelinsky was a moron who apparently lack any real contact with other human beings in his real life, acting as if social media really does replace it.  That's exactly how he acted, the same logic.  If you can call it that.
• Jess (Yanu) Here was a tribe that immediately presented itself as one of the worst ever assembled, the first real contender for the throne since Ulong, and the one member who was actually worth rooting for was of course almost immediately voted out, once the more obvious target was eliminated.
• Randen (Nami) His evacuation was the fatal blow to Venus's chances in the game.
• Bhanu (Yanu) I don't know why they so often cast insufferable individuals when looking for foreign players, but Bhanu was by far the most insufferable ever even while trying desperately to coast on what the casting director presumably assumed was a redeeming positive outlook.
• Jem (Siga) Aside from Jess the earliest player voted out I would've loved to have had her fate in the hands of players who weren't complete idiots, of which this season was chock-full.
• Moriah (Siga) I seriously don't know what the casting director was thinking this season.
• Tim (Siga) Another player who was almost worth rooting for but never really amounted to anything.
• Soda (Nami) I found her obnoxious, and the edit did little to convince me otherwise.
• Tevin (Nami) I found him very obnoxious, and the edit seemed to go out of its way to further convince me.
• Hunter (Nami) By the time he spoke up at the final tribal council I finally figured out why he was cast, since it wasn't to fill the survival role or challenge beast role viewers might've otherwise expected from him, nor was he much of a personality (Venus credits him twice with random acts of kindness).  But he knew how to work the finalists with questions.  Almost enough to redeem the disappointment.
• Tiffany (Yanu) Kenzie's stooge to the very end.  If you thought she gave her more than thirty seconds for that answer despite being rigid with the other finalists, you're probably right.
• Venus (Nami) One of two players who seemed absolutely destined for early exits but who somehow navigated deep into the season despite having to hustle the whole time, earns my vote for helping make the season worth watching as a result.
• Q (Yanu) Like the Specialist before him it was difficult to determine if he was crazy or merely crazy like a fox the whole season.  The tribal council he literally asked to be voted out and yet wasn't was basically the defining moment of the season.  These chuckleheads kept looking for targets when the obvious was right in front of them and would've made everything easier.  These people didn't choose easy at any point, and just kept outsmarting themselves.  So someone like Q easily earns my vote of confidence as a result.
• Maria (Siga) One of the would-be masterminds who outsmarted themselves, right down to the final vote, which even a year later she still struggles to justify.
• Liz (Nami) Someone with that many compromising allergies should never have been cast in the first place.  Period.  And despite how desperately they tried to spin it, shouting her disappointment over a silly restaurant chain reward, no matter how "deeply personal," will never feel anything less than supremely childish.  Someone has lost the plot here.
• Ben (Siga) Another questionable casting choice for someone who spent their whole time unable to overcome their aversion to the mere camping experience of the game, otherwise amiable and a rare actual personality this season, even if he struggled the whole time coming up with a recognizable gameplan (I struggle at this point to remember who exactly was in the Six, mostly since it instantly didn't matter to any of them).
• Charlie (Siga) Everyone who made it to the end was someone's stooge, and Charlie was most certainly a stooge, Maria's, and she responded to being voted out by him by refusing to vote for him despite having given him her word.  Apparently if there'd been a tie Ben would've been given the deciding vote, and that would've given the win to Charlie.  But really, I would've have been happier with that ending.  So in a weird way, thank you for being petty, Maria.
• Kenzie (Yanu) The tribe that should've disappeared ended up producing the winner, mostly because they were all shameless.  In a perfect world the most obviously shameless of them, Q, would've gotten this win, but this was one of the most wildly imperfect seasons of Survivor ever, so the player who best navigated, even surviving losing her most trusted ally well before the end, still managed to manipulate everyone into keeping her around long enough to win the season.  For that alone, for being the embodiment of the sleaze hustle that sometimes produces these results, I can be reasonably happy that she got the trophy.  But honestly, it's really a participation trophy.

Survivor 45

 originally aired September 27, 2023 to December 20, 2023

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Hannah (Lulu) First person to quit this season.  
• Brandon (Lulu) Engineered a quit.  Neither should have even been cast in the first place.  Likely just to emphasize for newer viewers that this remains an actual challenge just to endure the reality of the game.
• Sabiyah (Lulu) Will best be remembered for melting the wax on an advantage at tribal council.  Which didn't prevent her from being voted out.
• Sean (Lulu) This whole tribe was probably as close to another Ulong as Survivor has yet managed to produce, just a bunch of pathetic players who couldn't figure out why they were even playing the game.  Two exceptions notable exceptions, as basically with Ulong (way back in Palau, the season with the epic challenge showdown between eventual winner Tom & Ian, who dominated Koror and the season as a whole). Another quitter.
• Brando (Belo) Basically his exist helped define the games of several players (Austin, Drew, Emily, Kendra) who made it deeper, thus beginning to demonstrate there were actually people playing this season.
• J. Maya (Reba) Someone who tried unsuccessfully to navigate the chaotic voting strategies that ultimately defined the season.  I liked her, but too little too late but somehow too soon, because again, this was how long it took for gameplay to actually come into play.  So you might actually consider her the key to unlocking everyone else's game, the player who was the biggest threat and most needed eliminating.
• Sifu (Reba) Loved watching this guy, an actual player worth watching for something other than strategizing, which happens increasingly rarely in these later seasons, a fun personality who was of course unable to factor into anyone's strategies probably mostly because he was too likable, at least by viewer standards.
• Kaleb (Lulu) Easily the smartest member of Lulu and probably of the whole season, which was why he, too, needed eliminating early, although he at least made it to the jury.
• Kellie (Belo) I found most of the women to be indistinguishable this season, weirdly most of the ones that made it deep into the game and even winner of the season.  They just kind of existed as fairly anonymous players.  Kellie was most anonymous.
• Kendra (Belo) Anonymous, too, but almost possessor of a huge ego that drives pretty much every decision she makes, and an obnoxious personality she uses to compensate.
• Bruce (Belo) The poor shlub evacuated within minutes of the first episode last season (still wonder if he'll ever sue for the way they edited it so callously) comes back this season and is immediately and inexplicably the target of smear campaigns from Emily and Katurah, the latter all season long as if the game has never had returning players before (you could tell very quickly how stuffed the casting was with the worst possible vetting this season as far as any awareness of the game).  So he ends up feeling as if he's a bad guy because of how he's treated (although like Sifu, a personality viewers might actually enjoy).  All that being said, the domineering camp personality was a trope in early seasons ripe for votes.  I just don't buy into it, with Bruce, as Katurah seemed determined to despise him from the start, and just kept coming up with excuses as to why.  Had nothing to say in the edit of final tribal, only came up in relation to Emily's first episode tirade against him in the reunion.  Done very, very wrong.  But at least got to play a season, and lasted deep into the jury phase.  Needs a third chance, hopefully with more players capable of grasping the game.
• Emily (Lulu) Kaleb helped her turn around her social game, and she became a wild card no one understood as being allowed to remain on the board so long, so that she might have won the season given a chance.
• Drew (Reba) Probably the only player visibly aware that there was more than Survivor 45 to the legacy of the game this season, and as such a classic player in a season like this.
• Julie (Reba) Eventually defined by other players as the "mom" of the season and therefore a threat to win, but such an anonymous player otherwise.  This is the way the jury deliberated, and why the season played out the way it did, so many players like this just screwing up real chances at deliberate gameplay.
• Katurah (Belo) Such a hateful player, like Kendra working on therapy while being oblivious to the fact instead of playing the game.  Really needs to work on self-awareness above everything else, one of three lawyers in the season and most proud for basing her entire gameplay on hiding the fact.  Never once seemed analytical, so it's hard to see how she makes a living.
• Jake (Belo) Scrapped and clawed his way through the season, no one really willing to work with him but somehow surviving nearly to the end being able to successfully navigate, mostly because these people really didn't have a clue how to play.
• Austin (Reba) Probably the purest player this season, clever and deliberate and able to navigate the unsteady waters.  His romantic alliance with winner Dee brought with it allusions to Boston Rob & Amber, but never really felt like it, and wasn't the same kind of feel-good showdown at final tribal council.  In my texting group this season I called him Barry Allen, because he looks somewhat like Ezra Miller.
• Dee (Reba) So many standout players, and even someone winning who could make a legitimate case, and yet I was only satisfied with her actually claiming the prize when I heard my niece approved.  I suppose she earned it, but I wish she hadn't felt so anonymous until the tepid showmance bloomed.  It's kind of telling that this wasn't the obvious target for elimination in a season like this, as it's been since Romber.

And here's the big surprise: I picked out nine players worth remembering for gameplay (and sometimes through sheer force of personality), a new record, supplanting Palau in my ranking based on that criteria (with Dee ranked 10th among winners), which is kind of surprising since it was very far from a traditional season as far as gameplay went, which was refreshing and frustrating at the same time, since too much aggressive gameplay isn't fun to watch but a lower level is also hard to appreciate.  But the number of players that needed to be eliminated in order for things to play out the way it did was impressive, and the players who did make it to the finals deserved, uniformly, to be there, too, regardless of the outcome or how I felt about it.  It's nice to know I can still be pleasantly surprised by Survivor.  A most interesting season indeed.

Survivor 44

originally aired March 1, 2023 to May 24, 2023

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Bruce (Tika) If people begin suing Survivor, it might be this guy at some point.  The edit clearly shows exactly how and when he smashes his head and gets a concussion, which ends up leaving him medically evacuated, to dramatic, apparently entertaining effect (the smash, not the evacuation).  And he's immediately shipped right back to play in Season 45!
• Maddy (Ratu) During the earliest part of the game there was tremendous gameplay, leading to a tribal council where nearly everyone had and/or played advantages, leaving to Maddy's exit.  Tremendously misleading, as it turned out, for the season as a whole.
• Helen (Tika) As I've pointed out before, watching Survivor these days means a texting party every week for me, and this season I spent a lot of time complaining, since I thought this was a bad season.  Helen's ouster was the result of Carson deciding to keep Carolyn around.  Long-term this worked out extremely well for both of them.  As a viewer I couldn't possibly have enjoyed the results less.  Carson was an early candidate for someone I could actually root for, but he turned out to be someone I couldn't care less for, since he formed an alliance with two players I loathed.  And who both outlasted him.
• Claire (Soka) Ha.  The player who thought she didn't need to compete in challenges.  Turns out to not be a winning strategy.  At all.
• Sarah (Tika) At this point it was very clear Tika was made up of knuckleheads.  Who in this kind of season ended up producing the winner.
• Matthew (Ratu) This knucklehead, however, played for a different tribe, and very early in the game foolishly climbed a rocky protuberance, fell from it, dislocated his shoulder, and kept participating in challenges.  This in itself doesn't sound laughable.  It sounds courageous!  Valiant!  But he kept using his bad arm.  And eventually got medically evacuated because of it.  I see no good defense of any of that.
• Josh (Soka) A player who was kind of almost worth rooting for.  
• Matt (Soka) This season's showmance was one of the few highlights.  One of the very few positive, viewer-friendly things to emerge from it.  More on this when we reach his sweety.
• Brandon (Ratu) The extreme problem this season was that they didn't cast players who viewers could easily root for.  Or at least featured an edit worth savoring.  Brandon was one of the many bland personalities who might have otherwise been worth rooting for.
• Kane (Ratu) Almost by default someone I could bother watching without disdain.  Kind of interesting.  Didn't really know how to play.  This was a whole season of players who didn't really know how to play.
• Frannie (Soka) Matt's sweety.  If either of them had been as strategic as Frannie tried to be before she was voted out, they could've basically had the game in the bag.  But that's the kind of season this was.
• Danny (Soka) I dubbed him Ninja Dan based on one fleeting sequence in the edit.  I loved this guy.  An actual personality!  But surrounded by knuckleheads.  A whole season of knuckleheads.  Aside from "Mannie," really the only reason to care this season happened at all.  
• Jaime (Ratu) Hey, look!  Another bland personality!
• Lauren (Ratu) Hey, look!  Another!
• Carson (Tika) The cheat code challenge player who basically wasted all his geeky knowledge by having no real idea how to play the game socially, eventually putting all his chips in the Yam Yam/Carolyn bucket, which, as I noted in a text, gave the two of them more power than the one of him.  Which led to his ouster.
• Carolyn (Tika) If even a smidgen of her personality was an act (which she was oblivious enough to admit at final tribal, which probably cost her all remaining hope of any votes), then wow! did she wildly miscalculate.  The edit was almost Carolyn all season (with most of the rest of it given to Yam Yam), leaving viewers with someone most of them probably couldn't stomach.  Who made that call???
• Heidi (Soka) Bland personality like Lauren the editing half-heartedly tried to redeem with a sympathetic factoid.  If the edit had bothered with any of them, I don't know what kind of viewing experience this would have been, but it would have been far less obnoxious.  Which I think would have been better than what we got, regardless of outcome.
• Yam Yam (Tika) Wow.  So obviously from the very beginning Survivor has tried to present a representative sampling of society, and this is sometimes peppered by quirky casting choices, including the lively foreigner, which almost always backfires.  Yam Yam checked a lot of boxes for the casting director, none of which entertained me in the least bit.  I couldn't stand the guy.  You're gonna see his name listed at the very bottom of winners.  I have a new all-time low.  If Carson hadn't legitimized Yam Yam and Carolyn, they would never in a million years have lasted to the finals.  Not even to score easy votes.  They maneuvered, but only out of sheer lucky opportunity, since this season was chock full of players who didn't have the first clue what they were doing.  I have in the past bitterly complained about "master strategists."  This season I found out I would vastly prefer "master strategists" to clueless knuckleheads.  I really blame the edit for how this season played out, though.  Heavily featuring two players guaranteed to alienate even some parts of the viewership is a terrible idea.  They were not even remotely balanced by anything else.  Carson certainly couldn't.  They didn't even try with Ninja Dan.  "Mannie" almost did, but very inconveniently both were voted out early in the jury phase.  Yam Yam was the yuppie's delight.  For the more affluent members of the fanbase, I'm sure he was a delight.  For me he was just an entitled brat who smiled his way to victory.  He isn't even particularly representative of any Puerto Rican I ever met, which is the even more insulting part of it.  He doesn't have to represent Puerto Ricans as a whole, but if you go out of your way to cast a Puerto Rican, and you have someone like Heidi sitting next to him in the finals and you give her all of two minutes to voice the authentic journey he claims to represent...Just a total disaster of a season.  The Ulong of seasons, really.