Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X 1x11 "About to Have a Rumble" live blogging thoughts

Hannah is feeling overwhelmed by the tribal council that just happened (for her).  She feels guilty about what happened to Jessica.  David is feeling vulnerable, too, having wasted a hidden immunity idol.  Zeke declares the tribal council "amazing."  He then uses questionable emphasis in syllables.  (Trying desperately to express his glee further.)

Ken receives the legacy advantage bequeathed to him by Jessica.  He considers it a great boost to his game.  I think he, David, or Adam have the best shot at winning this season.

Reward challenge!  Loved Ones Visit!  Sunday says hello to her husband.  Bret says hello to his dad.  Jay says hello to his sister.  Hannah says hello to her mom.  Adam says hello to his brother.  (Quick update on their mom battling cancer: she's "okay.")  He talks about his advantage, saying he won't use it this reward.  David says hello to his dad.  Ken says hello to his brother.  Zeke says hello to his dad.  Will says hello to his mom.  Always interesting to see who comes out for these things.

The challenge itself involves being attached to a rope and having to maneuver around an obstacle.  The reward, besides the loved one, is a barbecue.  Somehow it's more fun when the loved ones are competing...Sunday is probably not going to win.  Behind most of the challenge.  Adam somewhat hilariously gets stuck.  Jay wins!  He picks Will to join him on the reward.  He then picks Sunday to join them.  He surprisingly chooses Adam to round out the collection.  This Triforcer really did let bygones be bygones.  It figures that he's gotten the best edit of them, and has obviously lasted the longest.  He's probably the real wild card this season.

During the barbecue, Adam and his brother discuss their mom's treatments.  My mom had cancer, and passed away after a five-year battle last year.  So this was tough to listen to for me.  I know that they're not really battling for a win but for time.  It sucks.

Then he gives the advantage to Jay. 

Will talks about needing credibility.  Says he's "tired of using people, I want to work with people."  He really has turned his game around.  Says he wants to side with David now.  David thinks this means Zeke can go home soon.

Immunity challenge!  A keeping-a-thing-from-falling challenge, the traditional variation on balance, or should I say concentration, challenge.  David somewhat quickly drops out.  Hannah drops.  Will drops.  Bret drops.  Sunday drops.  Zeke drops.  Ken drops.  Jay drops.  Adam wins!  Darn good episode for him.  Pretty consistent edit for him this season.  I would be very surprised to see him go before the final tribal.

But then he starts getting cocky.  Please don't do that, bro.  So people start talking about what happens next.  David makes a brilliant analogy about Will just getting his drivers license.  Zeke starts getting paranoid.  He figures David is too well protected, so he starts looking for another target.  Ken gets to know Will, wondering if he's really onboard the Get Zeke crew.  Will says working with Ken is excruciating.  Will says Ken is the next target.  Ken talks with Jay trying to confirm.  So this becomes a problem.  Will may have made a huge mistake.  Adam calls what just happened a betrayal.  So now it's turning on Ken.  Hannah calls Zeke a mobster!  Will's youth is finally really showing.  Basically pretty immature...

Tribal council!  David explains that there's a single swing vote (Will).  Will explains that Ken is the problem.  This puts Will in such a terrible situation.  I have no idea how he couldn't figure that out.  I think perception of him is warped by that voice.  He just called himself a serious contender.  He is serious: seriously deluded.  Jay tries to give Will credibility.  But kind of loses some of his in the process.  David makes a case for Will flipping, as originally planned.  The quality of players is such that no one is apparently considering changing targets.  There should always be alternative targets.  Such as, oh, Will.  Who sucks up to Jay.  I could easily see Jay, and Adam, in the finals.  Hannah is convinced she's going home, after votes have been cast.  Adam uses a hidden immunity idol for Hannah.  Big, big twist.  I don't think so many hidden immunity idols have been used, much less for people other than who found them, in the history of this game.  Hannah garners votes, nullified, Zeke goes home as a result!  The witch is dead!  Big, big tribal council!  The game is on!

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X 1x10 "Million Dollar Gamble" live blogging thoughts

Following tribal council, Adam tries to explain why he didn't rat Taylor out.  He explains that he wants Jay to follow Taylor out.  That's also two votes against him should he make it to the finals.  Jay digs up the remaining food and gives it back, and reflects on his hidden immunity idol.  Chris talks about Jessica needing to go, as payback, basically, for the Paul blindside (long memory!).  That's why it's dangerous to do stuff like that, Jessica, because if you don't eliminate the rest of that group you betrayed, it will come back to haunt you.  So there are people in some bad places right now if they make it to the end...

Ken and Hannah bond.  She talks about flirting with him.  Can we talk about Team Kennah?  Will, whose main distinguishing factor is his deep voice (and young age) bonds with Zeke.  He talks about dumping Jay as an ally, because he was always a loose member of what is now a Triforce of One (sob!).  He's an ideal player to go further than he should in a season like this, where no one is really good enough a player to even considering dominating.  Zeke once again looks like he's in a good place because of this.  He talks about hidden immunity idols.  He mistakenly talks strategy with Chris, who is of course fixated on Jessica.  He's convinced he's in a pretty good place. 

Reward challenge!  Basically collecting keys and stacking blocks.  Floating pizza restaurant reward!  Jeff mocks the losers in advance!  David attempts to talk himself out of the challenge.  Apparently he's still insecure, the edit just stopped commenting on it every episode.  He starts to cry about the support he's been receiving.  Sympathy!  With nary a fake dead grandma needed!  Jay is the one who doesn't get to compete after teams are chosen randomly.  Kind of figures.  Zeke, Adam, Hannah, Sunday, and Bret win.

They start to eat. And eat. And talk.  With food in their mouth.  They get letters from home!  Adam gets emotional.  He talks about his mother's ongoing battle with cancer, and constantly worrying about how she's doing. 

People not eating and eating talk about...well, the game.  David appreciates Ken.  These two still look to be in some of the best long-term positions.  They're not entangled with too much drama.  David is back strong in the edit!  Yay!  He talks about getting to the final three with Ken.  He suggests Chris, Bret, and Sunday as being the biggest threat.  He's probably right.  He talks to Jessica about getting rid of Chris.  So there's some good symmetry there! 

Immunity challenge!  Balancing challenge.  David wins!  The editing this hour continues to go his way!  He boldly predicts Chris will go home.

David is congratulated.  Jay is mad at himself for blowing the challenge.  Sunday, whose main distinguishing factor is that she has no chance at winning but keeps finding her way into the edit anyway, comments on other people talking strategy.  David talks with Zeke.  Jessica talks about being targeted.  Adam talks about his alliance being "a hundred percent."  Things are never that clearcut in this game, unless you're talking about Ulong getting Ulonged.  Zeke talks about the great position he's in, being a swing vote, thinking he has all the power because of it.  Historically this is a bad position, Zeke. 

Tribal council!  Jay talks about being in a bad position.  David talks about voting blocks, and how blindsides are possible and Jay probably isn't a target because of it (by implication).  Hannah coins the term "trustcluster."  (That's another word for alliance, Hannah.)  (By any other name.)  Bret talks about trust.  Chris talks about trust.  Basically they're previewing how they'll act as jurors?  Jay still feels vulnerable.  Sunday, whose main distinguishing factor is that she keeps talking without really meaning anything to the game, talks.  Jessica talks about the Gen X blindside, and Chris says she has nothing to worry about.  David feels pretty safe (immunity idol and all).  Jay says he's pretty sure he's gone.  Zeke talks about sticking to the plan, and how appearances can be deceiving.  Jessica's vote against Chris is shown.  Chris's vote against Jessica is shown.  That's...the opposite of a blindside, Chris, claiming she's safe but everyone knowing she isn't.  Kind of idiotic move for someone who has previously been somewhat smart.  Chris and Jessica (Sunday is blindsided) trade votes, Chris is voted out.  That's a blindside, Chris...

Segue into the start of the second hour as they return to camp.  Jay is pretty happy he survived without a single vote.  But Jessica talks about him as necessarily the next vote.  Bret is pretty sure Chris would have won if he'd made it to the end.  Well, probably not, Chris.  Zeke is gunning for David.  You're far less sympathetic, Zeke, not to mention scrambling a lot more than he is.  Bret is surprisingly cool about all this, and Copgate has officially been forgotten.  David talks about targeting Zeke, too.  Bret talks about being part of Team Zeke, and how David doesn't realize this.  Bret spills the beans on David's plans against Zeke.  Zeke talks about being the "doughy little gay guy."  He perpetuates the myth that surviving day to day at camp has anything to do with surviving the game itself.  He then says David is probably a more immediate target now.  This will probably be the theme of the episode, and the biggest move either will have in this game, if one of them succeeds.

David calls himself and Zeke chess players.  That's what makes David so interesting, because starting out you never would have expected this from him, but he set about making alliances so brilliantly.  Can you say the same about Zeke?  Zeke keeps talking about David's latest hidden immunity idol.  Hannah talks about having to choose between them.  That's the problem right there for her, being incapable of that very decision.

Reward challenge!  Three teams of three, snake-themed.  No dignity.  Classic.  Helicopter tour, Survivor picnic.  "Away...from all the losers."  Way to be subtle, Jeff.  Someone will draw a lucky rock that will give them a free ride to the reward, which David wins (at this point...of course!).  Remember when I talked about lack of dignity?  Will and Hannah prove that quickly..."Zeke looks like a Survivor mime."  Without really knowing it, Jeff nails Zeke right there.  He's doing everything someone like him thinks is the same as actually doing he should be doing, or in other words looking like a winner while not necessarily making a rock solid case to be a winner.  But only time will tell...Bret, Zeke, and Sunday win.  That will be an awkward little picnic, with David and Zeke...On the other hand, it'll give Ken and David's other allies a chance to hash out the advantages of not going full Team Zeke...Adam talks about whether he should have used his advantage to go on that one...

Wait, didn't Zeke talk about not drinking beer the last time he went on a reward?  And drinking anyway for the same reasons?  He and Bret bond.  Apparently Bret is also gay.  So that kind of explains why they bond.  So to be clear, when I say I don't see either of them winning this game, it's not because they're gay.  But this is a nice moment for them.  For all the gay players this game has had over the years, this is probably the best moment any of them have had.

Then they talk with Sunday, whose main distinguishing factor is that she is willing to vote when there's a vote.  They target David.  Zeke is convinced he's in control.

Totally no David in that edit, for whatever reason, which I just realized.  Hannah admits Zeke is a flip-flopper.  Says the girl who just flip-flopped to David.  David says his hidden immunity idol doesn't have to be used by him, that it's his as well as hers.  The two most neurotic people this season are finally bonding!  Glorious.  David suggests targeting Zeke next vote, David playing his hidden immunity idol...Hannah says she wants to see what happens next.  Honestly, Adam just might win this season because everyone else sabotaged themselves...

Immunity challenge!  Maze board challenge; they can't see the board, which is interesting.  Jeff brags that he can see everything...He admits it'd be wrong to say who's ahead or behind.  He keeps chattering anyway.  Clearly he knows this strategy from general sports commentary.  Jay is the first one to move onto a slide puzzle.  Jay wins!  He keeps, ah, surviving, but has no shot at winning the season (probably).  It's just interesting that someone from the Triforce is still around.  It almost feels like destiny...

Jay celebrates his victory.  Says he won't play his hidden immunity idol tonight.  I mean, no one in the history of this game has been stupid enough to go home with one of those, right? 

Jessica talks about supporting David.  Ken talks about supporting David.  Oprah talks about supporting David.  Everyone talks about supporting David!  (Woop, got a little ahead of myself...)

Hannah and Zeke have friction.  Hannah should not apply to a spy agency.  Stay away from the Spy Shack!  Zeke talks his short-term strategy.  Jay talks about voting against Hannah.  Zeke talks about the opposing "armies."  Apparently "trustcluster" is already a dead term.  Adam talks about Hannah being neurotic.  She feels David should play his idol for her.  Well, of course!  David talks out what might happen.  He wonders who might flip.  He's not sure what will happen!

Tribal council!  Jeff wonders if anyone feels secure about what will happen.  No one raises their hand.  He then wonders if anyone feels safe, and Jay raises his hand.  This whole episode has crystalized the insane development of the season where David and Zeke have wound up in control.  Bret freaks out about the "trustcluster" term.  Zeke mocks David.  Looks bad for you, Zeke.  This whole season is Election 2016 all over again!  Ken seems to be the target.  Bret talks about smoke and mirrors.  (Cody Rhodes, somewhere, perks up his head.)  Considering how much time is left, this will not be a simple vote...A bug attacks Taylor.  Figures!  Even the jury isn't safe this season!  David decides to play his hidden immunity idol.  Adam reveals that the other guys wanted to vote for Ken.  David uses his idol for Ken. Zeke and Hannah, alas, garner votes.  Tied.  Will, whose main distinguishing factor is that he's got long hair but was not an actual member of the Triforce, is given the urn.  People whisper new strategies...Second tie.  Deadlock.  Jeff breaks out the verbal marker board explaining what happens next.  Will tries to bring reason.  Wow!  Distinguishing factor!  Basically no consensus is going to happen.  So Zeke and Hannah can no longer be voted for.  Jay is safe.  Ken is safe.  Everyone else is fair game...and picking rocks.  Not a purple rock!!!  Will says he will probably cry...Jessica is thusly eliminated.  Sucks.  Hopefully David's alliance can rally.  I'm sure a lot of people gained some new perspective this council.  Jessica leaves the legacy advantage to Ken.  "The rest of this game is going to be...insane."  One last sage comment from Jeff...

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X 1x9 "Still Throwin' Punches" live blogging updates

Jay laments the loss of Michelle.  He calls the "Millennial flippers" idiots.  Chris is happy about how things turned out, but he's also scared about the future, unsure how much he should trust his new allies.  Taylor thinks he and Jay should attempt to patch things with their enemies.  He also talks with Adam again.  Adam briefly FLAIRS UP THE OLD ALL CAPS.  Taylor thinks he can blackmail Adam, basically.  Really proud about stealing "half the food."  Taylor's someone new in this game, which is incredibly rare.  He's kind of a villain, but he's not a smart villain, even though he's vaguely strategic.  Jay and Hannah try and hash things out, as she attempts to explain herself.  She's been wanting to play since she was fourteen.  Survivor debuted in 2000.  I was nineteen.  So I guess that doesn't make her that much younger than me.  But when she said it I kind of freaked out a little...

Reward challenge!  Two teams, obstacles, keys, boxes, dragging under nets, targets...Playing to visit a resort!  Cheeseburgers!  Cocktails!  Soft drinks!  Schoolyard pick!  Exclamation point!  (Sorry.)  Chris picked the team that won.  He continues to turn out better than I thought early in the season.  Hannah picked the losing team.  ("I picked a horrible team.") 

Team Chris enjoys the resort.  Taylor's food-sneaking pays off when he realizes his body is more "food adapted" and therefore more capable of absorbing the bounty.  Bret is not as smart.  For what it's worth comparing their intelligence.  It's pretty funny that Taylor is so convinced his future in the game still has a shot at looking good.  Sunday talks about a "proactive move."  The most "proactive move" she could make would be to change her name to Monday. 

Meanwhile, Jay and Adam talk.  Adam worries about playing too aggressively.  He realizes he really shouldn't trust Jay and Taylor.  Jay ends up feeling bad about being reminded he's on the bottom.  If Jay and Taylor were anyone else, they would have a shot at getting numbers back on their side.  Jay talks with Will, whose proactive move would be to be to add "Free" to the front of his name.

Folks watch a sunrise.  Sunday continues to talk about her potential.  She has none.  I feel like I'm watching, I don't know, one of those house-hunter shows when she's on.  She talks with Jay.  Well, that about figures, someone like her making Jay and Taylor relevant again.  The way the edit has gone all over the place, it's pretty indicative of no one really in control, which can sometimes make for an interesting backend to a season, so I guess we'll have to wait and see.  Adam's fortunes have been the most consistent element of the season, for what it's worth.

Immunity challenge!  Jeff offers to let anyone feeling safe to eat instead of compete.  Zeke and Will decide to eat.  That about figures.  Zeke's slide to irrelevance has arrived at about Will levels.  He foolishly thinks aligning with Gen X means he improves his fortunes.  Not so much.  Will's not old enough to drink beer.  Anyway, it's a balancing challenge.  Hannah quickly falls out of competition.  Bret's out.  Jessica, Sunday, David, and Chris drop out.  Adam drops out.  Jay is out.  Taylor and Ken remain.  Taylor is wearing those ugly toe shoes.  Figures.  Taylor drops.  Ken wins!  I officially dub Ken, Chris, and Adam as the people to beat this season. 

David talks strategy, decides splitting the vote is a great idea.  Not historically, David...Concludes Taylor and Jay, one of them, will go home.  Sunday really wants Jessica to go home.  Probably fears they cancel each other out at this point.  Gotta give her props for becoming aggressive this late in the game.  She's been working toward this.  Toward...nothing.  Taylor shows Jay the "bunker of food."  But Jay won't tell him about his hidden immunity idol.  He probably should play it tonight.  That would be smart, right?  Taylor explains Adam's advantage.  Then about the blackmail.  Which means nothing.  They both believe telling everyone about Adam's advantage.  He still doesn't see that he has no future unless he really does compromise his Figgy Avenger mode, because Adam is his only venue forward.

Tribal council!  Michelle is the first jury member.  She will probably be a good juror.  Adam talks about blindsides being a fairly common thing in this game.  Chris talks about being "on the wrong side of the line."  Taylor talks about his bunker food.  Rats out Adam.  Turns out to be the pipebomb he hoped it'd be.  Ken looks like crazy people are talking.  Adam's advantage is revealed.  Taylor basically uses Election 2016 tactics.  Figures.  "Wow."  (Jeff.)  David is "stunned" and "uncomfortable."  He says it's the final nail in the coffin for one of them.  Taylor is basically the idiot version of Russell Hanz.  Jessica, with a little goading from Jeff, basically calls this prototypical Millennial behavior.  Jay tries desperately to distance himself from the Taylor and Adam scandals.  Adam wonders what the hell Jay is trying to say.  This is literally Election 2016 nonsense.  Hannah tries to summarize things.  Bret tries, too.  Hannah's attempt was better.  Figures.  Jay chooses not to use his hidden immunity idol.  He immediately gets a vote against him.  Then Taylor and Adam, then Jay, then Taylor, then Jay, Taylor, Jay, Taylor, Taylor, and the last goes to Taylor, giving him enough votes to leave the game.  He apologizes for stealing food, which must have seemed like a far less smart idea as he was saying so...

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X 1x8 "I'm the Kingpin" live blogging updates

Jay thought he'd get punched in the face at tribal council, but Michaela...stopped short of that.  Let the record show!  Hannah considers herself the bottom of the Green Tribe.  She's reverting back to where she began.  That's her problem right there.  But she remains eternally hopeful that things can turn around.  She is Hannah Fierce!

Merge!  Bret is happy.  He was feeling "terrified."  Can he trust Will & Jay?  Adam is happy to make the merge.  He realizes this is the important part of the game...

Merge!  Zeke is happy.  He's feeling "excited."  Michelle is relieved!  She feels pretty confident the remaining members of the Triforce can reunite and go all the way.  (It should be noted there are now actually three members of the Triforce, for those keeping score and wanting to reconcile their concept of math with Millennials logic...)

Will bizarrely introduces himself.  Sunday does, too.  This figures, because this is now their distinguishing moment...

Chris isn't sure what to make of the new tribe.  He's sticking by David and Zeke, and would love to recombine with Bret and Sunday.  Zeke is giddy with all the possible fruitful links.  He calls Jay the "locus of power."  He then proceeds to sort of gush over him.  He also seems to have an exaggerated sense of Jay's importance...No clue what just happened, Zeke?

Feasting on celebratory merge food!  Adam wisely realizes he shouldn't fixate on it.  He quickly finds an advantage instead, the ability to steal a reward after someone's won it.  He realizes this has never happened before.

Taylor thinks he cleverly grabs extra food for himself.  Bret notices.  Adam notices.  He decides to talk strategy with him.  Apparently the events of the great betrayal have been put behind them.  But Taylor doesn't agree (just not to his face).  So I don't know if Adam's just screwed himself or what.  Not a smart move.  I don't really know what he was thinking...

People talk about Taylor's theft.  That's the thing that'll work in Adam's favor, because Taylor has no idea people other than Adam noticed.  So this could be Adam's second blindside of Taylor, if he realizes what's happening...

Jay and Taylor talk about Adam's plan to target Will (who like Sunday is only good for adding up votes).  (To be clear.)  Zeke continues to fixate on Jay.  Taylor talks with Will.  Will realizes he has to win immunity.  Which probably won't happen, Will.

Individual immunity challenge!  Balancing on narrow perches!  Buckets of water perched above them!  Good classic challenge.  The big twist is that both arms are tethered this time.  Sunday first out.  No surprise.  Chris out.  Bret out.  All three out in less than ten minutes.  Jay out.  Zeke out.  Jeff points out David.  Kind of surprising he's still in it, to think about him.  The reason we spend so little time talking about David the last few episodes is that Hannah adequately covers similar territory.  She drops out soon after Ken.  We've reached twenty minutes.  Bye Michelle.  Taylor gone.  David finally out.  Adam surprisingly drops out.  Really expected him to win, actually.  Jessica will probably beat Will.  They reach the hour mark.  Then another thirty minutes.  Damn!  Will pulled it out.  Now I'm kind of worried for Adam..."What a performance."  What a bad move earlier, Adam...Way to pick a moment to do something, Will...Does Adam have it in him to dodge this bullet?

How is Will the youngest person to ever play?  He seems like he's a lot older than some of those blood relatives and other such young'uns...Michelle immediately realizes it's stupid to vote out Adam.  That's why I like her.  Zeke talks to Adam about what's been spilled.  He kind of suspected after Will stayed in the challenge "for three hours."  (Was it three?)  Adam talks with Chris, kind of the arbiter of second chances around here.  David speaks!  You don't even consider targeting Michelle, though!  Adam doesn't think the Gen X crew has enough of a focus.  He turns back to Taylor, of all people.  Taylor concludes this is "a hundred percent about revenge," so it...really looks bad for Adam.  David and Hannah together?!?  She talks with Adam.  "Weirdoes" and "cool kids" blocs this season, apparently, never mind the original premise...So, scrambling continues one way or another.  He considers playing his hidden immunity idol.

Tribal council!  It's brought up that Taylor stole food.  He talked about being hungry.  Someone suggests they're hungry enough to eat Jeff...It occurs to me that this season is kind of turning into another Borneo.  Who's Rich Hatch???  This time, everyone thinks they're being pretty strategic, but are Jay and Taylor still kind of Team Captain America?  David is speaking with ridiculous confidence these days.  What happened to this guy???  Everyone seems pretty sure alliances will emerge in the open tonight.  Adam once again states the obvious, about no one wanting to be the first voted out after the merge...It definitely seems a Millennial is going home one way or another.  Adam chooses not to use his hidden immunity idol.  Adam and Michelle get all the votes.  Michelle loses.  Darn!  But this was a make-or-break moment for both of them.  She chose to stick with the Triforce, which she was kind of maneuvered, after the shakeup, into, unfortunately.  So does Adam have better footing?  Only if he finally embraces it...

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X 1x7 "I Will Destroy You" live blogging updates

Taylor and Adam discuss the fallout of tribal council.  To no one's surprise, it's Taylor who provides the quote the episode's title is taken from.

Orange Tribe: David talks about Michelle being the most likely candidate for elimination, but instead begins considering other options, such as Zeke, who he decides to show his hidden immunity idol.  Zeke looks less jaunty the longer he's playing.  That's sad.  Less sad than Michelle being in trouble.

Reward challenge!  Jeff asks Michaela if she stands by her prior comments about Millennials with their numbers.  She says it was well past time for Figgy to go.  They're playing for a chef to come to camp.  How he'll make cheesecake at camp will be very interesting.  (Heh.)  Orange Tribe does not do very well.  Turns out Zeke and David are not good at this challenge.  But then when it comes to shooting hoops, they get back in it.  Chris really good at making shots, Zeke and Michelle really good at getting balls out of nets.  I guess it only figures.  Orange Tribe wins!  Green Tribe comes back from sucking badly to win second place: kebabs.  Michaela keeps crushing it at challenges.  She comments that she doesn't like standing out. 

Orange Tribe eats chef food.  Don't overeat!  Zeke not only breaks his dieting, but doesn't take the preceding advice.  They have no idea what happens in this game...Michelle "eats like a human," according to Chris.  She has to listen to a Mel Brooks scene later...I wish she were on a different tribe, or that they at least don't go to tribal council until the merge...

Purple Tribe: Taylor talks about not liking politics.  They probably love the synergy with the big election next week...Jessica asks him about a different vote, in which he of course throws Adam under the bus.  She continues to overvalue her strategic instincts.

Green Tribe: eats kebabs.  Michaela talks about trying to pretend creepy crawly things not creeping and crawling around her.  She calls herself pretty intense, compares herself to Steve Jobs and Michael Jordan, and declares herself a winner.  Does Bret really participate in the great funeral business tradition of Survivor?  Hannah doesn't think so.  For some reason.  She thinks he's a cop.  No spy shack, Hannah.  Some people are just looking a lot less good in this game.  Jay thinks he's a cop, too.  He apparently spends a lot of time lighting bonfires on the beach.  This just in: he's also not a FBI agent, and doesn't have a real accent, and snuck in some jerky...(He actually is a cop, by the way.)  (But he is not a retired football player.)

Immunity challenge!  Coconuts!  (You can never go wrong with coconuts.)  Chris continues to be reliable shooting things into nets.  He is probably a professional shooter-of-things-into-nets.  (Assuming that is a thing other than in playing basketball.)  Purple Tribe does well in the first and second parts of the challenge.  Michelle struggles at finding a working combination.  If they lose, Orange Tribe really might vote her out...I bet she wasn't feeling too great about that, either...But they turn out to be better at knocking targets out with coconut.  Purple Tribe wins first place.  "Nothin' but...wood on that."  Smooth save, Jeff.  Orange Tribe wins second place!  Green Tribe, of the kebabs, going to tribal council...Are they going to use the flimsy cop excuse to eliminate Bret?  Did they have a reason to want him anyway? 

Orange Tribe spends time sitting around in silence.  It is awkward.  Sunday, whose main distinguishing factor is that her name is Sunday, knows it's either her or Bret going home.  Neither has much of a plan to escape this plight.  Michaela uses small beads and seashells to explain what has to happen next.  It doesn't hurt that she's the Millennial who's most likely to succeed at this point.  I've gotten around to liking her just fine, small beads and all.  Jay talks about her being a smart girl, "and that's the problem."  He then hatches a plan to eliminate her before the merge.  That may be why she had such a great edit this episode...Even Will, whose main distinguishing factor is that his name is Will, comes aboard Jay's thought process.  They're both pretty sure Hannah will freak out.  I was really, really wrong about her.  She's not even worth calling the female David.  Who continues to be absent from recent edits...

Tribal council!  They actually just had music that sounded like Lost.  Meta!  Michaela talks about sketchy people not being able to be relied on.  They all confirm that "even Michaela?!?" was able to keep silent for thirty minutes.  Jeff wonders if Bret still believes anything is possible.  He thinks people trust him.  Jeff brings up blindsides.  Foreshadowing!  Sort of!  Jay talks about following your gut.  Which, no offense to fat people, but is probably really easy for fat people.  And people who generally walking in a forward direction.   Wait, I may have taken that too literally...Michaela doesn't want anyone to feel like they're at the bottom, but that's a lofty and insane goal...Jeff is pretty convinced that someone is going to be blindsided.  If it's not Bret or Sunday going home, his words will ring true.  (Read: be very worried, Michaela.  Which would pretty much torpedo the tribe.)  Bret and Michaela get votes, of course, Michaela is shocked.  She asks Jay if he voted for her.  She actually stops Jeff from finishing the votes for a moment.  This is a first.  She gets the final and deciding vote.  She does not leave happy.  She does not have nice things to say about Jay.  Jeff notes the irony of what just happened...