Survivor 47

originally aired September 18, 2024 to December 18, 2024

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Jon (Gata) Probably one of the most gratuitous first boots in Survivor history, a good talker hyped by production who subsequently got virtually zero actual screentime.  Basically the epitome of the season, everyone gunning to make a mark and eliminate the competition, with no one really in control, and so a lot of good players went to waste through sheer attrition.  Also the first indication that Sam was (and wasn't) a big game player.
• TK (Tuku) This was basically the entire season, just a lot of maneuvering.  My memory of the early season tends to weaken these days, so I don't remember TK so much.  Sorry.
• Aysha (Lavo) Just plain don't remember her, either.  Sorry!
• Kishan (Lavo) Pointedly, these past two boots were the result of Rome's maneuvering.
• Anika (Gata) Here's the first of the players I gave nicknames to this season.  My texting buddies heard these nicknames all the time.  Anika (except in exact spelling) shares her name with Star Trek: Voyager's Seven of Nine, so that's how I referred to her.  Otherwise the victim of when Sam was really playing, mostly motivated by desperately trying to figure out why Andy was still in the game.
• Rome (Lavo) I loved Rome's hustle.  Like Jon I think he just found himself in the wrong season.  A lot of what happens in a season depends on casting and how players react to each other.  It took Boston Rob four tries to win, but everyone knew even though he got voted out so early his first season there was something special about him.  Rome isn't exactly Boston Rob, but if he'd had anything to play with he'd have done much better.  Easily.  
• Tiyana (Tuku) I just realized that a large part of why it's been difficult to remember the early boots recently is the aftershow, what used to be the reunion, that since 2020 has really only been the jury, which means all the early players, half the players, are even for the show itself basically an afterthought.  Which is a huge disservice.  But Tiyana's ultimate legacy is basically Rachel's first real move to victory.
• Sierra (Gata) My sister says she's the one who was in a showmance with Sam, but this was something featured more in conversation than the edit.  Which goes to show how crucial it is to have the season edited fairly.  I've been dissatisfied with the editing for a while now, which is all the more astonishing given the supersized episodes that're supposed to give more room for the human element that still gets neglected.  That used to be the best part of Survivor.  Too many players aren't nearly the strategists they think they are.  This isn't Big Brother.  Let Survivor be Survivor.
• Sol (Lavo) Often neglected in the edit but usually worth paying attention to when included, but ultimately not much of a factor in the how the season played out.
• Gabe (Tuku) My most infamous nickname, as I referred to him as Maui, from Moana, throughout the season, given the reasonable visible resemblance.  Like Sol not overly featured in the edit, but unlike Sol, usually in the actual mix of events, just never really in control of anything.  I didn't actively hate anyone this season, and Gabe was someone I actively liked, and not just because he looked fun.
• Kyle (Tuku) My sister agreed that Kyle gave off Ian (Palau) vibes in his layback attitude.  But I guess this also means we might now know what would've happened to Ian without Tom.  Because Kyle certainly never had a Tom.  Unfortunately.  Probably the most likable player this season.
• Caroline (Tuku) One of the prime movers in a season filled with subprime movers, if that makes sense.  
• Andy (Gata) I called him Young Johnny Depp early on.  A lot.  Because that's what he looks like.  Or, I guess, Young Jack Sparrow.  Anyway, if he'd made it to the finals he would've been my absolute pick to win.  Just one of the most inexplicable journeys in Survivor history, from someone who had a nervous breakdown and asked to be voted out, to arguably the player most likely to dominate strategy and results.  Should definitely, definitely get another chance to play.
• Genevieve (Lavo) Another of the subprime movers.  I never really saw her as a dominant player, but she was game for making moves, or trying.
• Teeny (Lavo) Gosh, I really, really wanted to like her, but she turned out to be not much of anything.  Lots of growing up to do.
• Sue (Tuku) A fairly delusional player (make of that what you will, but we at least have plastic surgery as part of the inclusion package now), unaware that she made it to the finals mostly because she was the least deserving.  It had nothing to do with her age.  That's her own obsession.
• Sam (Gata) I had a nickname for him, but I don't remember it, mostly because his gameplay and effectiveness was so erratic.  Obviously after a certain point he simply got good at the war of attrition, although very late he realized he needed to have some actual credentials.  But he didn't deserve to win.
• Rachel (Gata) A genuinely worthy winner, and exactly who I wanted to see claim the title by the time Andy was booted.  Usually when someone's outside the ranks of players I'm actively rooting for, I don't have that much time for them, but Rachel was an exception.  Her allies were one thing, but Rachel was adept at making the right moves, and then she became dominant, and then she became inevitable.  I don't know that she claims truly elite status, because she's still a product of a specific kind of gameplay where the field was level and it was scrambling all season long, and she didn't really stand out until late in the season.  But when the going got tough, she got tough, too.  That's outplaying, outwitting, and outlasting.  Definition of the game.

Survivor 46

originally aired February 28, 2024 to May 22, 2024

The order players were eliminated and the impact they left behind:

• Jelinsky (Yanu) One of several players this season who should never've been cast, Jelinsky was a moron who apparently lack any real contact with other human beings in his real life, acting as if social media really does replace it.  That's exactly how he acted, the same logic.  If you can call it that.
• Jess (Yanu) Here was a tribe that immediately presented itself as one of the worst ever assembled, the first real contender for the throne since Ulong, and the one member who was actually worth rooting for was of course almost immediately voted out, once the more obvious target was eliminated.
• Randen (Nami) His evacuation was the fatal blow to Venus's chances in the game.
• Bhanu (Yanu) I don't know why they so often cast insufferable individuals when looking for foreign players, but Bhanu was by far the most insufferable ever even while trying desperately to coast on what the casting director presumably assumed was a redeeming positive outlook.
• Jem (Siga) Aside from Jess the earliest player voted out I would've loved to have had her fate in the hands of players who weren't complete idiots, of which this season was chock-full.
• Moriah (Siga) I seriously don't know what the casting director was thinking this season.
• Tim (Siga) Another player who was almost worth rooting for but never really amounted to anything.
• Soda (Nami) I found her obnoxious, and the edit did little to convince me otherwise.
• Tevin (Nami) I found him very obnoxious, and the edit seemed to go out of its way to further convince me.
• Hunter (Nami) By the time he spoke up at the final tribal council I finally figured out why he was cast, since it wasn't to fill the survival role or challenge beast role viewers might've otherwise expected from him, nor was he much of a personality (Venus credits him twice with random acts of kindness).  But he knew how to work the finalists with questions.  Almost enough to redeem the disappointment.
• Tiffany (Yanu) Kenzie's stooge to the very end.  If you thought she gave her more than thirty seconds for that answer despite being rigid with the other finalists, you're probably right.
• Venus (Nami) One of two players who seemed absolutely destined for early exits but who somehow navigated deep into the season despite having to hustle the whole time, earns my vote for helping make the season worth watching as a result.
• Q (Yanu) Like the Specialist before him it was difficult to determine if he was crazy or merely crazy like a fox the whole season.  The tribal council he literally asked to be voted out and yet wasn't was basically the defining moment of the season.  These chuckleheads kept looking for targets when the obvious was right in front of them and would've made everything easier.  These people didn't choose easy at any point, and just kept outsmarting themselves.  So someone like Q easily earns my vote of confidence as a result.
• Maria (Siga) One of the would-be masterminds who outsmarted themselves, right down to the final vote, which even a year later she still struggles to justify.
• Liz (Nami) Someone with that many compromising allergies should never have been cast in the first place.  Period.  And despite how desperately they tried to spin it, shouting her disappointment over a silly restaurant chain reward, no matter how "deeply personal," will never feel anything less than supremely childish.  Someone has lost the plot here.
• Ben (Siga) Another questionable casting choice for someone who spent their whole time unable to overcome their aversion to the mere camping experience of the game, otherwise amiable and a rare actual personality this season, even if he struggled the whole time coming up with a recognizable gameplan (I struggle at this point to remember who exactly was in the Six, mostly since it instantly didn't matter to any of them).
• Charlie (Siga) Everyone who made it to the end was someone's stooge, and Charlie was most certainly a stooge, Maria's, and she responded to being voted out by him by refusing to vote for him despite having given him her word.  Apparently if there'd been a tie Ben would've been given the deciding vote, and that would've given the win to Charlie.  But really, I would've have been happier with that ending.  So in a weird way, thank you for being petty, Maria.
• Kenzie (Yanu) The tribe that should've disappeared ended up producing the winner, mostly because they were all shameless.  In a perfect world the most obviously shameless of them, Q, would've gotten this win, but this was one of the most wildly imperfect seasons of Survivor ever, so the player who best navigated, even surviving losing her most trusted ally well before the end, still managed to manipulate everyone into keeping her around long enough to win the season.  For that alone, for being the embodiment of the sleaze hustle that sometimes produces these results, I can be reasonably happy that she got the trophy.  But honestly, it's really a participation trophy.