Since it's always a crapshoot when I don't get to watch live, I'm going to cheat and point this space for my thoughts over the Entertainment Weekly's Dalton Ross. He's always worth reading, he's a superfan, and this week's recap is especially noteworthy because he talks about missing last week's episode, part of an inexplicable trend of always seeming to miss the best episodes. Anyway, read it here.
The big news of the episode is that Malcolm was voted out. Dalton makes a big deal about the food auction, and true to form because it's a favorite obsession of his. He doesn't understand why these knuckleheads aren't always expecting and saving for advantages that are sure to be on the menu. And considering some of these particular knuckleheads are supposed to be acknowledged fans, they of all knuckleheads should know to expect such things.
Anyway, Malcolm was voted out and we should all have seen that coming, maybe not exactly with this timing, but c'mon, the dude just isn't what he seems he should be. He's not as great in the physical challenges as he should be, and he's still not much of a strategist. He tries, but he's just not that good. Last week saw him engineer an outrageous moment, one that fans will remember for a long time, but it didn't amount to anything. He was still on incredibly unstable ground. It's great to be able to find allies, but you need to know how to find the right allies. It's not so hard. Good players do it. Bad players do it. Ultimately the winners are the ones who knew how to manipulate those around them, or merely exist around the individuals who made everyone else hate them. They made the right allies. This is the key difference between watching and playing this game. I've said it before, but viewers have a completely (or should have) different perspective on the game. They have perspective. The people playing are usually blinded by their emotions. The best alliances are between people who hate each other. I'll say it again: the best alliances are between people who hate each other. There's every incentive and thus no incentive to get rid of your allies in this scenario, and thus it ends up being the player who did obviously play the game the best who wins. That's how Rich Hatch won in the very first season.
Seriously, if I never get a chance to play, at least use me as a consultant. I'll give you the victory. Guaranteed.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Survivor: Caramoan 1x10 "Zipping Over the Cuckoo's Nest"
One massive teaser sequence down. Turns out the editing was misleading. And who would imagine that?!? Brenda's much ballyhooed freakout is about a lost retainer. Fine. Brenda ends up looking really good (or, better, because she's y'know, hot), although she loses some of her bonus points by saying "visa versa." It's "vice versa." Just like it's "Barnes & Noble," not "Barnes & Nobles." Yes, people get those wrong all the time. They also really love saying the letter "o" instead of "zero." Sometimes that's okay, but not all the time.
Malcolm's mini tribe lost the reward challenge in part because his rival mini tribe had Reynold on it. And because Sherrie sucks. This is what I've been saying, folks.
Okay, and so apparently Dawn has a backup freakout, so the edit simply didn't cover both of them...Cochran again with the analysis and bonus points: It's reminding him of Brandon.
Dawn probably only seems like she's getting the I've-made-peace-with-the-game-and-can-go-home-now edit. Because y'know, she's not completely a headcase. Just for the purposes of this episode. She was also celebrating the exact number of days she lasted her previous season.
People identify Reynold as a threat. Our planet has a moon.
Phillip decides to sit out the immunity challenge. This would be the phase of the game where everyone is vulnerable except the one person who wins immunity, just to be clear. Also, the other massive teaser for this episode is the tribal council extremely memorable. So that means it'll be interesting. So that means you probably want to have immunity and/or not be one of the many blockheads to give immunity up at tribal council. And so on.
Somehow the challenge boils down to...Reynold and Malcolm.
Reynold wins immunity. The moon looks on in eager anticipation.
Reynold apparently looks a lot like Matteo (from Survivor: Amazon) when he's got his hair and beard growing out. Crazy eyes, too.
Seriously, they keep cutting to Phillip for analysis. Either the producers think he's actually intelligent, like I do, or they're being ironic. Naturally I choose to believe the former.
People become anxious about finding another hidden immunity idol. Personally, I suggest Brenda look for it. Although apparently Malcolm will do.
Interesting comment, Andrea: "Malcolm was supposed to go home." Which apparently means they've realized Malcolm and Reynold are the biggest threats, at least as far as winning challenges goes.
Interesting analysis, Eddie. Even if you don't go this time, you'll be gone soon enough.
On to the fascinating tribal council!
Show everyone the idol, Malcolm! I suppose it's only fair, considering what he did last tribal council. The Specialist, meanwhile, could take storytelling lessons from Coach. They really need to play this game in the same season. Malcolm just gave Eddie another hidden immunity idol. Lots of strategizing at tribal council! This doesn't happen. This never happens. So yeah, interesting! "Phillip is the fun sponge." Actually, that sounds like a fun role to play! He's not happy to be a target, though. It's worth noting that Andrea's name is being vocally tossed around. Phillip is trying to save his own name. Although perhaps he doesn't know that his name is bad enough already. The way he tosses around Boston Rob's name is the way future contestants will toss around his. In a different context. And I like the guy.
Just for the record, it's stupid for Malcolm to align so visibly with Eddie and Reynold. Because it just won't work. Unless you're Fabio.
Eddie plays his (Malcolm's second) hidden immunity idol, and Malcolm plays his.
Because his own alliance didn't figure out that it really needed to alter its strategy, Phillip in fact goes home, by two votes. Lots of votes for Eddie that didn't count. Sad to see the Specialist go, but realistically he never had a chance to win. He's just fun to watch, regardless of whether or not you take him seriously.
Next week in possibly accurate teaserage: A monkey goes fishing! Sherrie, unsurprisingly, apparently considers joining the Fabios. Plus a classic Survivor auction!
Malcolm's mini tribe lost the reward challenge in part because his rival mini tribe had Reynold on it. And because Sherrie sucks. This is what I've been saying, folks.
Okay, and so apparently Dawn has a backup freakout, so the edit simply didn't cover both of them...Cochran again with the analysis and bonus points: It's reminding him of Brandon.
Dawn probably only seems like she's getting the I've-made-peace-with-the-game-and-can-go-home-now edit. Because y'know, she's not completely a headcase. Just for the purposes of this episode. She was also celebrating the exact number of days she lasted her previous season.
People identify Reynold as a threat. Our planet has a moon.
Phillip decides to sit out the immunity challenge. This would be the phase of the game where everyone is vulnerable except the one person who wins immunity, just to be clear. Also, the other massive teaser for this episode is the tribal council extremely memorable. So that means it'll be interesting. So that means you probably want to have immunity and/or not be one of the many blockheads to give immunity up at tribal council. And so on.
Somehow the challenge boils down to...Reynold and Malcolm.
Reynold wins immunity. The moon looks on in eager anticipation.
Reynold apparently looks a lot like Matteo (from Survivor: Amazon) when he's got his hair and beard growing out. Crazy eyes, too.
Seriously, they keep cutting to Phillip for analysis. Either the producers think he's actually intelligent, like I do, or they're being ironic. Naturally I choose to believe the former.
People become anxious about finding another hidden immunity idol. Personally, I suggest Brenda look for it. Although apparently Malcolm will do.
Interesting comment, Andrea: "Malcolm was supposed to go home." Which apparently means they've realized Malcolm and Reynold are the biggest threats, at least as far as winning challenges goes.
Interesting analysis, Eddie. Even if you don't go this time, you'll be gone soon enough.
On to the fascinating tribal council!
Show everyone the idol, Malcolm! I suppose it's only fair, considering what he did last tribal council. The Specialist, meanwhile, could take storytelling lessons from Coach. They really need to play this game in the same season. Malcolm just gave Eddie another hidden immunity idol. Lots of strategizing at tribal council! This doesn't happen. This never happens. So yeah, interesting! "Phillip is the fun sponge." Actually, that sounds like a fun role to play! He's not happy to be a target, though. It's worth noting that Andrea's name is being vocally tossed around. Phillip is trying to save his own name. Although perhaps he doesn't know that his name is bad enough already. The way he tosses around Boston Rob's name is the way future contestants will toss around his. In a different context. And I like the guy.
Just for the record, it's stupid for Malcolm to align so visibly with Eddie and Reynold. Because it just won't work. Unless you're Fabio.
Eddie plays his (Malcolm's second) hidden immunity idol, and Malcolm plays his.
Because his own alliance didn't figure out that it really needed to alter its strategy, Phillip in fact goes home, by two votes. Lots of votes for Eddie that didn't count. Sad to see the Specialist go, but realistically he never had a chance to win. He's just fun to watch, regardless of whether or not you take him seriously.
Next week in possibly accurate teaserage: A monkey goes fishing! Sherrie, unsurprisingly, apparently considers joining the Fabios. Plus a classic Survivor auction!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Survivor: Caramoan 1x9 "Cut Off the Head of the Snake"
We join our story already in progress...Which is to say mostly done.
Looks like Malcolm is still scrambling, looking to get rid of Andrea, who he considers to be the real threat...People are still using Dawn as a strategy sounding board...Reynold does in fact have a hidden immunity idol, which the Fans already knew...Dawn finds it pretty funny that he showed it to her...Note to Malcolm: that's how you affect the game...Constantly strategizing may get you far, may even get you to the end, but it also proves that you're essentially in a weak position...I'm happy to see Andrea continue working with Dawn and Cochran, who have a clue as to what they're doing...
Was Erik grooming Andrea at tribal council meant to mean something, or is he still simply prone to odd behavior at tribal council?
I don't know, I still think Phillip has the ability to sound like the smartest man in the room, regardless of his personality quirks. Deal with it.
Wow, so Malcolm just did the biggest move of the season so far, realizing that people were gunning for him, and convinced Reynold to give him his hidden immunity idol.
...Or it was all in his head, and they were gunning for...Michael.
Should make things interesting next week! What was I saying about Malcolm?
Keep it together, Dawn!
Looks like Malcolm is still scrambling, looking to get rid of Andrea, who he considers to be the real threat...People are still using Dawn as a strategy sounding board...Reynold does in fact have a hidden immunity idol, which the Fans already knew...Dawn finds it pretty funny that he showed it to her...Note to Malcolm: that's how you affect the game...Constantly strategizing may get you far, may even get you to the end, but it also proves that you're essentially in a weak position...I'm happy to see Andrea continue working with Dawn and Cochran, who have a clue as to what they're doing...
Was Erik grooming Andrea at tribal council meant to mean something, or is he still simply prone to odd behavior at tribal council?
I don't know, I still think Phillip has the ability to sound like the smartest man in the room, regardless of his personality quirks. Deal with it.
Wow, so Malcolm just did the biggest move of the season so far, realizing that people were gunning for him, and convinced Reynold to give him his hidden immunity idol.
...Or it was all in his head, and they were gunning for...Michael.
Should make things interesting next week! What was I saying about Malcolm?
Keep it together, Dawn!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Survivor: Caramoan 1x8 "Blindside Time"
Merge!
Malcolm names the new tribe, Enil Edam, after his mother, but it also happens to mean "new beginning."
His plotting with Corinne seems brilliant on the surface. But it keeps prime movers like Phillip and Cochran out of the equation. That's not so good.
Cochran, meanwhile, is pretty sure, unlike Eddie, that the Disgusting Food Eating immunity challenge will be good for his image. A bunch of familiar items shows up in the challenge, but it comes down to Cochran and Malcolm, and Cochran wins!
We're officially in the Cochran phase of the season.
Apparently Sherri is the target. As I've noted before, I would not be sad to see her go.
Dawn's realized her mistake from last time. Also, Corinne is a moron. Andrea is someone who's looking very good strategically this season, so of course Cochran discusses affairs with her, and then she talks with Phillip. If there's a gang of misfits, the misfits always prevail. Doesn't anyone who plays Survivor actually watch Survivor? Fans? Hello?
The alternative to Sherri is Corinne.
Cochran doesn't trust his strategy to Erik. But he could be a valuable swing vote, as the edit before tribal makes clear.
Who gets punched in the face?
(By the way, Michael, they always take it personally when you vote against them. Seriously, do none of them watch?)
Corinne is officially the first person in the history of Survivor to punch herself in the face. (Erik opted for Team Misfit.)
Next time on Survivor people start scrambling!
Malcolm names the new tribe, Enil Edam, after his mother, but it also happens to mean "new beginning."
His plotting with Corinne seems brilliant on the surface. But it keeps prime movers like Phillip and Cochran out of the equation. That's not so good.
Cochran, meanwhile, is pretty sure, unlike Eddie, that the Disgusting Food Eating immunity challenge will be good for his image. A bunch of familiar items shows up in the challenge, but it comes down to Cochran and Malcolm, and Cochran wins!
We're officially in the Cochran phase of the season.
Apparently Sherri is the target. As I've noted before, I would not be sad to see her go.
Dawn's realized her mistake from last time. Also, Corinne is a moron. Andrea is someone who's looking very good strategically this season, so of course Cochran discusses affairs with her, and then she talks with Phillip. If there's a gang of misfits, the misfits always prevail. Doesn't anyone who plays Survivor actually watch Survivor? Fans? Hello?
The alternative to Sherri is Corinne.
Cochran doesn't trust his strategy to Erik. But he could be a valuable swing vote, as the edit before tribal makes clear.
Who gets punched in the face?
(By the way, Michael, they always take it personally when you vote against them. Seriously, do none of them watch?)
Corinne is officially the first person in the history of Survivor to punch herself in the face. (Erik opted for Team Misfit.)
Next time on Survivor people start scrambling!
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