Survivor: San Juan del Sur

originally aired September 24, 2014 to December 17, 2014

The order in which players left the game and the impact they left behind:

• Nadiya (Natalie/Coyopa) This former Amazing Race contestant, along with her twin sister, made no impact at all, except in the fruitful void she left in Natalie's game.
• Val (Jeremy/Coyopa) Much like Gervase's niece in the original Blood vs. Water season, seemed to have affected her loved one in departure not at all, even though John Rocker tried to express to Jeremy his attempt to save her.
• John Rocker (Julie/Coyopa) It will probably puzzle me indefinitely as to why he was even cast.  Except for direct provocation from Natalie, which gave Jeremy all the ammunition he needed to vote her as winner of the season, John was on good behavior for a baseball veteran known for the opposite.  I think the producers just wanted a little controversy, which wasn't really fair to John.  He was actually a pretty good player, and might have done much better if he hadn't had stigma attached to his name.
• Drew (Alec/Hunahpu) A hilarious example of the kind of strategizing that went on basically throughout the whole season except for a couple of players that should have between them produced the winner (more on that later).  
• Kelley (Dale/Hunahpu) I have no real impression of her.
• Dale (Kelley/Coyopa) I remember having an impression of him, but he lost the Interesting Old Man title to Keith the longer Keith stuck around.
• Julie (John Rocker/Hunahpu) The most unfortunate player of the season, and the real victim of casting John Rocker.  Of course she ended up quitting.  Although if she hadn't, she would certainly have had a good story to tell the jury.
• Josh (Reed/Coyopa) One of two players who were really playing, but didn't have a significant alliance with which to actually go anywhere.
• Jeremy (Val/Hunahpu) I think he let himself get in his own way, but otherwise another clear player this season.  He and Josh could probably do better given another shot.
• Wes (Keith/Coyopa) Other than being Keith's son, was a completely nonentity, aside from being one of the rude young boys.
• Reed (Josh/Hunahpu) Completely nailed Missy's true character twice, including in the finale, which surely ranks with Sue's famous "snake and rats" speech as one of the finest ever.  Might have gone further, once he proved he might actually have been better than Josh, if he were better at forming alliances.  Which basically makes him the same as Josh, actually.
• Alec (Drew/Coyopa) Proved to be less crazy than his brother, but not distinctive enough in "finally beating his brother at something" to compete with Natalie's constant sob story.
• Jon (Jaclyn/Hunahpu) He and Jaclyn dominated the season.  But like everyone else couldn't form a decent alliance to make it all the way.
• Baylor (Missy/Coyopa) Of the mother/daughter team, actually did more to deserve making it to the finals, but she ultimately doomed herself by depending too much on her mother (and vice versa).
• Keith (Wes/Hunahpu) Other than being inexplicably good at challenges, clearly had no real mind for the game.  Indicative of the general act of attrition that characterized most of the season.
• Missy (Baylor/Hunahpu) Hey, Missy: after the first two or three, you might begin to assume it's something you're doing wrong.  You're not the victim.  Stop thinking of yourself that way.  And you should definitely have been pulled after the injury.  Reed was right about your gameplay.
• Jaclyn (Jon/Coyopa) Deserved to win.  She's what Julie should have been, and exactly what Amber was in All Stars (or possibly only what Amber seemed to be because that jury wouldn't vote for Boston Rob), the other half of a real power couple, the epitome of what the season set out to discover, if existing relationships can excel in this game.
• Natalie (Nadiya/Hunahpu) Not one of the least deserving winners ever, but pretty close.  She won because Jeremy liked how she handled John Rocker, and was bitter about how Jon and Jaclyn voted him out.  Four other jurors ended up agreeing with him, basically just because.  Most certainly not the best player, just someone who outlasted her sister (as we heard often enough so that it lost its flavor) and a lot of other people.  Her biggest move saved Jaclyn.  That should have helped lead to a different result.  

Survivor: Cagayan

originally aired 2/26/14-5/21/14

The order in which players left the game and the impact they left behind:

• David ("Brains"/Luzon) The first and truest victim of the "Brains" tribe was arguably its smartest member...and so his elimination was telling for the whole season.
• Garrett ("Brains"/Luzon) The first victim of the real "Brains" implosion.
• Brice (Beauty/Solana) I don't really remember him at this point.
• J'Tia ("Brains"/Luzon) A crazy person who perfectly represented the bulk of the "Brains" tribe's legacy.
• Cliff Robinson (Brawn/Aparri) Acquitted himself better than Jeff Kent.  In an ultra-competitive season, that was not good enough.
• Lindsey (Brawn/Aparri) The main reason why I stopped liking Trish, because I sided with Lindsey in that feud.  Huge props to Lindsey for taking herself out of the game.  Hopefully gets another chance to play.
• Alexis (Beauty/Solana) The babe this season.  (Looks a lot like Amy Acker.)  Not the whole reason I was sad to see her go.  A victim of the ultra-competitiveness of this season, a better player than she might have seemed.  Sad to see her leave in tears.
• Sarah (Brawn/Aparri) An early favorite of mine, and an early signal that Tony was going to go far by the way he handled her.
• Morgan (Beauty/Solana) Lasted longer than anyone would've expected.  I think with a little more seasoning she might be more competitive.
• LJ (Beauty/Solana) One of the more anonymous members of the Beauty block.  Blandly competitive.
• Jeremiah (Beauty/Solana) One of the more competitive members of the Beauty block.
• Jefra (Beauty/Solan) Waited a little too long to become relevant.
• Tasha ("Brains"/Luzon) One of the few actual Brains in the "Brains" tribe.
• Trish (Brawn/Aparri) Didn't have a lot of respect for her.  A standout in the jury final voting session, but for the same reasons she was a standout elsewhere.  Not exactly in a good way.
• Spencer ("Brains"/Luzon) As close to a new Cochran as we're ever likely to get (early in the season he seemed more like an improved Todd, so his game play actually improved in my eyes).  Hopefully and likely will receive future shots at winning.  Also the best jury member ever.
• Kass ("Brains"/Luzon) The embodiment of everything that was wrong with the "Brains" tribe.  I developed an entirely new perspective on intelligence thanks to her, actually!  Measured intelligence is not the same as intelligence in execution, basically.  Because this was one stupid decision after another.  The new Lil.  The same fate.  The same delusional misunderstanding of herself.  I hope watching this season back makes her reevaluate a few things about herself.  That would be a huge step forward in her ability to actually earn a spot in a tribe made up of people known for their brains.  Because she just didn't show anything worthy of that.  All season long.  One blunder after another.  She did keep trying.  But in this instance, memorable for all the wrong reasons.
• Woo (Brawn/Aparri) The one smart thing Kass did was equate Woo with Fabio.  Because that's probably as accurate as you can get with this guy.  Likable in an easy, low-key kind of way.  The other, better way to describe him would be an improved version of Ian, the one who did the right thing in the best possible circumstances, chose honor over opportunity.  Cost him the win, obviously, but there are few runners-up worthy of more respect than Woo.  Hopefully gets another shot.
• Tony (Brawn/Aparri) Obviously had the time of his life playing (until he had to sit in front of the jury), one of the best competitors to ever play the game.  The good version of Russell, and was rewarded for it, with an assist from game jurist Spencer, who made an unprecedented appeal to his colleagues at the end of the Q&A session to look at the facts rather than instead of reflecting on their emotions.  There are so many past competitors who could've benefited from that (Amanda, in two separate seasons, comes to mind).  (Russell still deserved to lose.)  I was rooting for him virtually the whole season, until he started pulling a Kim.  But by the end, he even had me reevaluating Kim, who looks like a more and more deserving and smart winner, too.  (Although I'd been rooting for her from an early point, too.)  Ranks instantly as not only one of the best players but best winners, too.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water

originally aired 9/18/13-12/15/13

The order in which players left the game, and the impact they left behind:

• Rupert (Galang; Pearl Islands, All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains) Played with his heart this time.  Very plainly sacrificed himself as the first victim of the season's theme.
• Colton (Galang; One World) Quitter (x2).  Should not be allowed to play again, no matter what he said at the reunion.  He's really good at making himself sound better there.
• Rachel (Tadhana; Tyson) By his own admission, a huge part of why Tyson eventually won.
• Marissa (Tadhana; Gervase) Probably the most tenuous and superfluous loved one of the season, and her fate played out accordingly.
• Candice (Galang; Cook Islands, Heroes vs. Villains) Got sent immediately to Redemption Island Arena, and just never made it out.
• Brad Culpepper (Tadhana; Monica) A classic case of strategizing himself right out of the game, although to his credit was the first one to do so this season.  Monica was competing against him all season, too, at least in her own mind.
• Kat (Galang; One World) Not as memorable this season as her first one, probably thrown off by the loved ones gimmick.
• John (Tadhana; Candice) Got tangled up in the loved ones affair and never really recovered.
• Laura B. (Tadhana; Rupert) On the plus side, probably did about as well as Rupert ever managed on his own, making this a Boneham tradition of coming up well short of the prize, although they both remain one of the classic pieces of Survivor history.
• Aras (Galang; Panama) Needed to be eliminated so that other people (read: Gervase and Tyson) could make it further, although his basic gameplay ability was definitely validated just in case anyone is still doubting that he deserved his Panama victory.
• Vytas (Tadhana; Aras) Proved he was every bit the match for his brother's gameplay.  In any other season probably a viable contender for the title of sole survivor.
• Caleb (Tadhana; Colton) Still trying to figure out what he sees in Colton (the reverse is obvious enough), but made a surprisingly competent contender although one without a real chance of winning.
• Katie (Tadhana; Tina) One of the real surprises, and one of the better strategists in the game, the last best victim of the loved ones affair.
• Hayden (Tadhana; Kat) Learned that there is a big difference between Survivor and Big Brother.
• Laura M. (Galang; Samoa) The subject of the season's biggest strategic move, although I'm not sure if it made a real difference other than in that family.
• Ciera (Tadhana; Laura M.) The loved one with the most gumption, although not the best strategist; even voting out her own mother didn't amount to everything she thought it would.
• Tina (Galang; The Australian Outback, All-Stars) Perhaps the biggest surprise of the season was a former winner who actually played better this time than when she won, a much bigger threat somehow and therefore a target to be eliminated.
• Gervase (Galang; Borneo) Moreso than Tina, a hugely remarkable turnaround from his earlier gameplay, although to be far he was one of the last two Tagi that first season so perhaps there was always indication that he could do well given another chance.  And so he did.  Not the most impressive in the challenges, but he did what was necessary at camp strategically to secure himself a worthy place in the finals and a good argument for winning if his ally Tyson hadn't done it better.
• Monica (Galang; One World) The classic case of an emotional argument speaking against its own chance of success, no matter how good it can sound, the feel-good argument of playing to believe in herself, creating her own legacy.  She achieved that her first season, and making it to the finals without really having done anything herself to get there (and deep down she knows that; she was the third man, and in the three-way final tribal, no matter how the votes actually shook out, that one never wins) was its own statement as well.  But she never had a chance to win, to be clear.
• Tyson (Galang; Tocantins, Heroes vs. Villains) A player who greatly benefited from a second and especially third chance, always memorable but never a clear threat to win until this season, and he did everything he needed to in order to do it, including clever usage of the hidden immunity idol.  Very happy with this result, a total deserving winner.  In a season heavily dominated by strategists rather than any one truly strong player, he still stood out.  Surprising for a season with a gimmick geared toward emotion, but it was Tyson who managed to strike the right balance, and so here he is.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water so far

We're now nine weeks into the twenty-sixth season of Survivor, and I figured I'd chime in on how it's been going.  In case you don't know, this is an entire "loved ones" season, in that half the cast is returning players and half various versions of their family.  The most obvious example of this is Rupert and his wife Laura.  Rupert became a fan favorite in his previous seasons in part because of the relationship he has with his wife, which was infectious the moment she visited him for the first time.  Of course, both of them quickly left this season.

Anyway, here's what I'm going to do, which is share text messages I've exchanged with my sister, who is also a big fan of the series, during the course of the season.  Let's begin:

9/18

Me: We're going to be watching Survivor.
Her: Of course you are.
Me: I was evoking [singing Wanda from] Palau.  You should sing that text to yourself.
Her: Lol
Me: [referencing a comment from the show for emphasis] Aras = likable winner.
Her: Gervase is still funny.
Me: Still awesome.
Her: No cow comments please [referencing infamous Gervase/Joel incident from Borneo].
Me: Mooo.
Her: Lol
Me: Bye Rupert's wife [referencing Laura being sent immediately to Redemption Island].
Me: Redemption Island is back!
Her: I already knew that [she favors spoilers].
Me: Rupert is good [referencing his decision to opt for the swap with his wife so he goes to RI instead of her].
Me: You're a spoily spoiler.
Her: Go Candice! Rupert's had a lot of chances already.  [Candice is the other player sent immediately to RI.]
Me: And gotten a million already [via audience fan favorite award].
Her: I don't understand why the vets didn't go after Tina or Rupert...
Me: Of course, Candice has played a few times too, and the reason Rupert exited Heroes vs. Villains.
Me: Besides Rupert himself.
Me: They went after an actual threat [in the decision to send Candice to RI; later developments prove Tina to be a major threat, however].
Her: She could have really helped them in challenges.
Me: Well, that's not how they think.
Me: It's on like hot buttered popcorn at the break of dawn!  [Referencing a favorite Gervase quote from Borneo.]
Her: Oye
Me: Oye!
Her: Maybe he took too many hits in the NFL...[referencing Brad Culpepper, Monica's husband and loved one]
Me: Probably.
Her: Not good game play.
Me: Professional athletes don't do well in this game.
Her: Not true, Gary did well [referencing Gary Hogeboom from Guatamala].
Me: They have to be high school coaches [referencing, of course, "Coach" Ben Wade].
Me: Gary?  He was just a regular guy!
Her: I'm going to hunt you down!  [Referencing a favorite quote from Amy that season.]
Me: Easy to hunt down!  [Not really, because Amy didn't know Gary's true identity at that point.]
Me: Hee hee hee!
Me: Golden Boy!  [needs to be said like Amy did that season.]
Me: So people voted out before treemail didn't really play?
Her: Not until a third person joins them at Redemption Island.
Me: I was thinking Palau again [where the aforementioned Wanda and Jonathan exited before gameplay really began].
Her: Something like that.
Me: Aras don't need no stinking help.  [Yes he does, it turns out.]
Me: Did Gervase ever learn how to swim???
Her: Apparently not.
Me: He can't even swim!  (But can win a paddling challenge.)  [Referencing a favorite Kelly comment from Borneo.]
Her: Lol
Me: Gervase was right about the puzzle.
Her: What did he say?
Me: He said the challenge was all about the puzzle portion.
Her: Of course it was.
Me: He's on the ball.
Me: Or on target, as it were.  [Referencing his and Colleen's self-imposed status in later Borneo tribal councils when they realized how the game was going to be played.]
Me: Poor naive loved ones.
Me: As we say in Boston, see ya later.  [Referencing, of course, Boston Rob.]
Her: The guys are just thinking of themselves...
Me: Nooo.
Me: (Yes.)
Her: The thing is I don't think Gervase will care.  [His niece Marissa was voted out.]
Me: Bye Marissa.
Me: There's no great reason for him.  He's actually playing the game this time.
Me: Plus he's a chauvinist pig.
Me: Moo.
Her: I don't think they are all that close.

9/25

Me: Yes, rice for Survivor night.  [Because rice is such a classic staple of the show!]
Her: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner!  Don't forget about them.  [Referencing the chickens from Borneo.]
Me: Who counted these chickens?!?  [Referencing Greg's famous statement.]
Me: Survivor!
Her: Commercial...
Me: Well, now.
Me: You haven't lived until you've watched Survivor with commentary by Mom...
Her: I can only imagine...and not the song!  [Referencing MercyMe song.]
Me: Tinker toy challenge!
Her: Sure is.
Me: Sorry, didn't get a good look.
Me: But fun!
Her: Bye Rupert!  [Gone from RI. and thus game.]
Me: By Jeff [Probst]'s own admission he now interprets Rupert's decision poorly indeed.  [Jeff had stated that success of his decision to swap with Laura hinged on whether or not he'd make it on RI.]
Her: Are you following Twitter?
Me: No, the EW interview from last week.
Her: Oh.
Me: Colton is only interested in chatting if it's about himself.
Her: He's an idiot.
Me: Indeed.  Tina's not ready for this trauma.  [Or perhaps very ready.]
Her: Is anyone?  He needs to go.
Me: Soon.  And be voted out this time.  [Not likely.]
Her: Yes please.
Me: Impromptu vote please.
Her: Like yesterday.
Me: As in don't cast him again.
Me: Or have him play against Russell.  ]Two peas in the Wrong Type of Villain pod.]
Her: Aras is a dork.  [She never accepted how awesome he is.]
Me: He's awesome.  We've covered this.  Repeatedly!
Me: Wouldn't you love to be in one of those barrels?
Her: Dizzy.
Me: Gervase!  [Referencing that he helps his team win a challenge again.]
Her: That means at least another week of Colton...Grrr
Me: The loved ones have no idea that they're all pulling a Jeff Kent [from Philippines].
Her: They aren't playing smart.
Me: Nope.
Me: Rachel came with who?
Me: Tyson?
Her: Tyson...Oye, that's partly why they targeted her in hopes he will switch with her.
Me: I guess we'll see.  [He doesn't.]
Me: Colton.  Oye.  [In reference to the previews.]
Her: I hope he quits so we don't have to see him anymore.
Me: At least no convoluted medical excuse this time [in reference to convoluted medical excuse from One World].

10/2

Her: Colton quit again!!!  Yay!
Me: Ding dong the witch is dead!
Her: Jeff [Probst] regrets bringing him back.
Me: Of course.  Someone who never had a snowball's chance of winning.  Either time.

10/9

Me: Anything interesting on Survivor?
Her: Ding dong, Culpepper to Redemption!!!  I think Candice and John can take him.
Me: Candice is certainly doing well at RI.  Culpepper can probably call it a game.

10/16

Me: Well, put Survivor on but for some reason people want to watch baseball instead...[I'd recently started a new job, and this was in reference to the breakroom TV, and the fact that the Red Sox were in playing postseason.  I live in Maine.  It's mandatory to support Boston.]
Her: That's because the Red Sox are playing...[They won the World Series, by the way.]
Me: Oh!
Me: Anything good on Survivor?
Her: Next week is going to be a tribal switch-up.  Returning players lost this week.
Me: Who did they send packing?
Her: Laura M.
Her: Candice lost the duel.
Me: Rupert's wife?
Her: No, other Laura [returning player from Samoa].
Me: Then I have no idea.  No big deal.  [Pretty much.]
Her: Really good with puzzles.  Aras masterminded it to have her at Redemptionto hopefully beat Brad.
Me: Well that sounds good.

10/23

Her: I'm guess you aren't watching Survivor...[because of the Red Sox]
Me: Anything good on Survivor tonight?
Her: Bye Brad!!! And Kat is now on Redemption Island.
Me: So long, latest would-be master strategist!
Her: Yeah, now his wife is picking up that portion...
Me: [S]he was one of the One World bimbos, right?
Her: Yup.

10/30

[Sox win World Series]
Me: Anything good shake on Survivor?
Her: No surproses, Kat is gone and they merge next week.
Me: But they hardly know each other!
Her: Whoever wins the duel next week reenters the game.  But Redemption Island isn't going away.
Me: Not until just about the end.  Which you love.

11/6

Me: Operation: Breakroom Survivor initiated.
Me: So long, Mr. Candice [John].
Me: So long, Mrs. Rupert [Laura].
Her: I did see John fight to stay on pole and Laura hover over the ground.
Me: Tom and Ian this challenge was not [once again referencing Palau].
Her: None of them could hang with Tom and Ian.
Me: Not even with Katie!  [Who was also in the referenced challenge.]
Her: True enough.
Me: Although they could bet Janu...[who did not share the same kind of fortitude earlier in Palau]
Her: Yes.
Me: Tyson found the Hidden Immunity Idol!
Her: I saw that.
Me: It took these guys forever to find it!  But I think they're a different kind of player.  More cerebral as a whole.
Her: They kept burning the clues.
Me: Not Aras!!! [Voted out.]
Her: Overconfident much!!! [Still jealous of his awesomeness.]
Her: Bye Aras!
Me: But it's all good.  I'm comfortable with this lot.
Her: Tina looks scared now.
Me: It's okay.  This is the recriminations phase.
Her: How does she figure they lost 5 votes?
Me: The people they betrayed voting him out.
Her: That's only 4 people.
Me: Including Aras?  Because he's still in play.  Should do well on RI.
Her: The 2 brothers [Aras and Vytas] and Tina/Katie [mother/daughter].
Me: And Gervase?
Her: He didn't vote with them.
Me: Well, hopefully she knows what she's talking about.  This is where things get interesting anyway.

11/13

Her: Are you watching Survivor tonight?
Me: That's the plan.
Me: Survivor!
Me: They can't do a loved ones episode this season!!!
Her: He ate them off the ground...Yuck.  [The only way to make the Disgusting Foods Challenge any worse.]
Me: Yum!
Me: One area where Gervase has improved!  [He famously and quickly crapped out in Borneo.]
Her: Yes, the one area.
Me: Has he been practicing???  With hot buttered popcorn?
Me: But he stumbles.  [Back to Borneo mode.]
Her: But it was funny to watch.  [Indeed.]
Me: Poor Gervase.
Her: I would suck at a "food" challenge.
Me: Even yummy delicious baluts [another Palau reference, because we're full of them]?
Her: Partially formed birds, I think not.
Me: Bones and all
Me: Vytas should not talk so much.
Her: He's just stirring the pot.
Me: Gervase is playing the game in a big way.  Also, mooo.
Her: He's no sitting duck this go-around.
Me: Tina?  Monica?
Me: Tina.  [It was a double elimination week, at least at tribal council.]
Her: Who keeps voting for Tyson?
Me: ...Jeff, she doesn't have a chance.  Aras prevails!  [In reference to Tina's chances at RI in Jeff Probst's estimates.]
Her: Sure.
Me: Because he is awesome.

The game continues!

Survivor: Caramoan

originally aired 2/13/13-5/12/13

The order in which players left the game, and the impact they left behind:

• Francesca (Bikal; Redemption Island) Fairly worthless Favorite who didn't bring anything more to this season than her previous one.  (Sometimes referenced under the term "wrong season," as in this was the wrong season for her to compete in, assuming there's a right one.)
• Allie (Gota) Her exit should have been the first sign for anyone that Reynold and Eddie were never going to come close to winning.
• Hope (Gota) Gone because Shamar managed to stick around.
• Shamar (Gota) I think Survivor itself loves the military, but that the people who play and watch it don't.  This dude got a raw deal all the way around, and deserves so much better.  Although maybe he helped do himself in, too.  I'd love to see him again, but it's probably unlikely.  At least he wasn't voted out.
• Laura (Gota) A victim of the foolish thinking that "physically strong" amounts to better than "mentally strong" in this game.
• Brandon (Bikal, South Pacific) Completed his transformation to a Hantz.  Hopefully Russell is happy now.
• Matt (Gota) Could have been interesting, but wasn't.
• Julia (Gota) She was proclaimed bland, but she was also cute.  Cute trumps bland, people.
• Corinne (Bikal; Gabon) The first to outsmart herself from the game.  Probably should have seen that coming.
• Michael (Gota) Like Matt, seemed like he could be interesting, but wasn't.
• Phillip (Bikal; Redemption Island) Laugh at me if you will, but for the time he was there, the Special Agent dominated.  Unfortunately no one takes him seriously.  Otherwise he could very easily have won.  Will always be a favorite.
• Malcolm (Bikal; Philippines) Seems to have all the tools, but he just doesn't have the instincts.  Engineered several memorable moments, and challenge rival Reynold became a surprising ally, but ultimately had no chance of winning.  Maybe if he comes back again he'll have learned from his mistakes.
• Reynold (Gota) A complete idiot strategically, although pretty good in the challenges.
• Andrea (Bikal; Redemption Island) Surprisingly good as a strategist, so good that she strategized herself right out of the game.  Maybe if she gets another shot she could do better, but I don't see that as likely.  
• Brenda (Bikal; Nicaragua) I fell in love with her the few times she was featured during the season, even before the spotlight episode that was her downfall.  I think if she played again it would be very interesting to see if she improved or worsened as a competitor.
• Erik (Bikal; Micronesia) From the original Fans vs. Favorites season, went down with about the same amount of dignity, medevaced with three days to go instead of giving away immunity.  There would be no value in seeing him play again.
• Eddie (Gota) Someone who was overwhelmed by this experience.  Perhaps Big Brother would have been a better match?
• Sherri (Gota) Never impressed with her.
• Dawn (Bikal; South Pacific) A genuinely good person who decided that making compromises was just part of the game, and ended up severely compromising herself as a result, because she made the worst compromise in the history of Survivor, voting out Brenda.
• Cochran (Bikal; South Pacific) The winner with good reason of this season, followed the developments like an expert, something he didn't allow himself to do last time.  Fans come in different flavors.  He was accepted into the game originally as a regular competitor, not during a season with fans literally drafted into it, and it shows.  The draftees never know what they're doing.  Cochran is always aware.  The first time he was overwhelmed.  This time he did everything right.  Having Dawn as an automatic ally was genius.  Neither of them ever even questioned it.  That's what you do with allies, Dawn.  When you're good to the people you're supposed to be good to, you have a shot at winning.  It also doesn't hurt to have a lot of pathetic players taking care of themselves.  Cochran is the Dragon Slayer!  Long live Cochran!

Survivor: Caramoan 1x14/1x15 "Last Push" and "Reunion"

I'm totally cheating again.  Go ahead and read Dalton Ross's thoughts, I'll wait.

I'm directing you to the Entertainment Weekly expert again because I didn't see the show last night live.  Usually I've gotten to see the finales as they air, even when I've missed huge swathes of some of the recent seasons, so that was kind of disappointing.  But reading Ross is like a different kind of entirely acceptable Survivor appreciation.

The winner was Cochran.  This was what the spoilers suggested at the start of the season (spoilers having made a big comeback recently in Survivorland), so I was only surprised that they were completely accurate.  The final vote is sealed before Probst reads it at the reunion, but sometimes it's just too obvious.  Cochran is the rare unanimous winner, joining Earl from Survivor: Fiji and J.T. from Survivor: Tocantins for the honor.  Interestingly, all three such winners have come from the Final Three era.

Ross goes on at length about how Sherri and Dawn didn't have realistic chances to win, and they really didn't.  He also waxes poetic on the irony of Brenda's behavior at the final Tribal Council that stood in stark contrast to what motivated it, being Dawn's decision to betray her, the move that cost her any shot of winning.  We should all know that Dawn probably owed her continued performance in this game to Brenda retrieving her false teeth, and to any observer it seemed Dawn owed her an eternal debt of gratitude.  Instead she chose to be that player who convinces themselves they have to sacrifice everything in order to have a shot at winning (except, apparently, anecdotal alliances with Cochran).  Brenda felt humiliated.  She was the rare person voted out who still couldn't compose themselves by the time they recorded their exit video.

So she was still going to be emotional in the final Tribal Council.  As fans, we yearn for Big Dramatic Moments in this final act of the game, ever since Sue Hawk's rats and snakes speech that helped make Survivor a thing in the first place.  It might have been vindictive to make Dawn remove those teeth she claimed would have forced herself to quit if she couldn't find them (but as Ross indicated throughout the season, she could cry and have a meltdown at the drop of a hat), but it also served her right.  Maybe it makes Brenda a bad person to have gone there, and maybe it makes me a bad person for agreeing, but in a very real sense, Dawn all but acknowledged that the teeth weren't that important to her, nor the person who helped her reclaim her dignity.  That wasn't a strategic move on Brenda's part, either time.  Dawn couldn't win.

Sherri also couldn't win, and she should have known it.  Too often people assume success in the business world actually means something.  Russell thought the same thing.  It takes a different kind of personality.  It's not the many who love that kind of success, it's the few.  The many don't enviously applaud that success.  They only want the same stability that success engenders.  In a game like Survivor, success becomes something else.  It's the ability to be rewarded by the many, not the few.  And Sherri couldn't even get the few to like her.  Ross complains that the jury members always lay into the floaters.  They deserve it.  It sucks to play the game and be voted out for it, while the people who aren't playing the game, or who aren't playing it well, technically have a shot at winning.  Except they don't.  They never do, and they never have a clue as to why that is.  So that's why jury members should be able to tell them.

You can always tell what the producers or Probst thought of someone by how much they're featured in the reunion show.  Ross says Sherri was a nonentity.  That's all you need to know.  She wasn't even acknowledged.  I long for the seasons where true competitiveness reaches all the way to the finals, where sitting besides each other in front of the jury is a matter of honor rather than strategy.  This happens so rarely.  I applaud Cochran for winning.  He absolutely deserves it.  He's the version of Todd from Survivor: China that I can actually respect.  He's the self-aware version, even if this season has been giving him an infusion of ego (or just making it more obvious, because the dude always loved to talk, and that's the reason he's so fun to watch and why his interview segments have made him immortal in Survivor with or without this win).  Todd was very much a snake, but unlike Rich Hatch before him he swallowed the rat because he was so pathetic no one realized what a jerk he was.  Cochran owned up to everything.  That's what makes him so great.  And he didn't even have much to own up to.  He was a classic opportunist.  He let his worthy foes eliminate themselves.  This was a season of attrition, but the difference between a win from Cochran and two from Sandra is that he knew what he was doing the whole time.  He did whatever he could to help, but really it was just a matter of seeing it all play out.

Was this a memorable season?  Insofar as a worthy winner like Cochran emerged, yes, but it was also kind of pathetic, in the very way that Dawn proved her ultimate character in that Brenda debacle, and people like Ross are now going to make Brenda seem like the villain, or how Shamar is still being perceived, or that Brandon's complete reversal remains intact, or that Malcolm didn't redeem himself.  A good season for fans, but I wonder if it made anyone into converts.  That's how you gage a memorable season.

Survivor: Caramoan 1x13 "Don't Say Anything About My Mom"

Loved ones episode!

Probst cried thanks to Brenda.  It figures!  She's the ninja assassin.  I'd be perfectly happy to see her win.  She was happy to see her father, telling him how much of an inspiration he is to her.  Good stuff.  Probst only cried a little, though, for the record.

It's always awkward for loved ones to compete in a challenge.  Unless you're Amanda and you and your friend have a weird chirping language you share.    This time it's physical.  One time they made the loved ones do the Disgusting Food Challenge.  That was awful.  For everyone.

It only figures that even when his mom is there Cochran is still the one talking.  He never stops!  Even during the challenge he's talking with his mom!

Brenda and her dad win!  It only figures.  And she chooses Dawn to share the reward with.  That figures, too!

Another surprise!  A second set of loved ones!  And then Probst spoils everything by offering an impossible deal, and then we cut to commercial...

And Brenda is once again awesome.  Where this could seem calculated if it were just about anyone else, Brenda seems absolutely genuine.  It doesn't hurt that we've seen the bare minimum from her, so either she's just not that type of player, who will draw as much attention to themselves for (sometimes) all the wrong reasons (I'm looking at people with the last name "Hantz").

Anyway, of course it's Cochran with the comments about getting all this loved ones love.  And then he goes on about how his dad is exactly him in forty years.  And apparently not realizing how cocky he's becoming.  But not necessarily in a bad way.

Dawn is a little more upset about Brenda's decision, by the way.  But Brenda's there for her.  Again.

Another endurance challenge for immunity.  Cochran was the first one out.  Eddie didn't last too long.  Brenda and Dawn are still in it.  Dawn is being chatty.  And Dawn wins.  It's her first time winning immunity.

Now, hopefully they'll just get rid of Eddie already.  Did Brenda admit to letting Dawn win?  Is she becoming strategic?  Or is this the point where the edit reveals that she's the one going home tonight?

There's just a ton of Brenda in this episode.  Loving it.

Then Cochran mentions that it would be great to get rid of Brenda.  So you see what I mean?

Well, my powers of interpreting fairly obvious editing seem to be working.  She's not happy about leaving, especially after what she sees as their assuming she did what she did during this episode to manipulate them.  Some of the edit obviously attempted to cast doubt in the viewer's mind, which is interesting.  But one way or another, if you love Brenda, you had to love this episode (except the ending).

She really took that hard!