Saturday, December 29, 2012

Survivor: The Amazon

originally aired 2/13/2003-5/11/2003

The order in which players left the game, and the impact they left behind:


  • Ryan (Tambaqui) If you're on a tribe of males, you'd better be a little more effective when the tribe loses.
  • Janet (Jaburu) If you on a tribe of women, you'd better be part of the clique.
  • Daniel (Tambaqui) See: Ryan.
  • Joanna (Jaburu) See: Janet.
  • Jeanne (Jaburu) See: Joanna.
  • Shawna (Jaburu) Don't be sick.  But at least your alliance survives you just fine.
  • Roger (Tambaqui) See: Daniel.
  • Dave (Tambaqui) Honestly, at this point it's no longer wise to be male this season.
  • Deena (Jaburu) Wrong side of the numbers.
  • Alex (Tambaqui) Just not good to be male...
  • Christy (Jaburu) The hearing impaired sweetheart who voted for one of her evil stepsisters.
  • Heidi (Jaburu) The other player who stripped for a reward in an immunity challenge.
  • Butch (Tambaqui) Male, voted out.
  • Rob (Tambaqui) The other famous strategist named Rob, in completely the wrong season, although that was always true for this one.
  • Matthew (Tambaqui) "Matteo" probably only seemed crazy.  But he was definitely male.
  • Jenna (Jaburu) Even though she didn't take a female alliance to the end, Jenna was probably always destined to win out of this bunch, the only one smart enough to know what was going on.

Survivor: Thailand

originally aired 9/19/2002-12/19/2002

The order in which players left the game, and the impact they left behind:


  • John (Chuay Gahn) Another destined-to-be-voted-out-first kind of player
  • Tanya (Chuay Gahn) Don't get sick early on.  It might be considered a sign of weakness.
  • Jed (Sook Jai) Don't stand out as a threat.
  • Ghandia (Chuay Gahn) Don't be a divisive, delusional loudmouth.
  • Stephanie (Sook Jai) Don't stand out as a threat.
  • Robb (Sook Jai) Don't be a psycho.
  • Shii Ann (Sook Jai) Don't assume there's a merge unless Jeff says there's one.
  • Erin (Sook Jai) Don't be a goddess.
  • Ken (Sook Jai) Don't be on the wrong side of numbers.
  • Penny (Sook Jai) Don't be on the wrong side of numbers.
  • Jake (Sook Jai) Don't be on the wrong side of numbers.
  • Ted (Chuay Gahn) Be the best friend of the guy who is going to win.
  • Helen (Chuay Gahn) Be the best friend of the guy who is going to win.
  • Jan (Chuay Gahn) Be the best friend of the guy who is going to win.
  • Clay (Chuay Gahn) Be the best friend of the guy who is going to win.
  • Brian (Chuay Gahn) Perhaps the second most inevitable winner in the history of Survivor, like Richard the only one who truly understood what was going on.  Because he's associated as a porn star and used car dealer, most fans don't respect him, but as a player of this game, he was untouchable.  

Survivor: Marquesas

originally aired 2/28/2002-5/19/2002

The order in which players left the game, and the impact they left behind:


  • Peter (Maraamu) I like to refer to him as "Doctor Who," because he looks like one of them.  And because there's very little else to know about him.
  • Patricia (Maraamu) It's not a good thing to stock any tribe with so many disposable players.
  • Hunter (Maraamu) The original Survivor alpha male quickly discovered that this is not a game for alpha males.
  • Sarah (Maraamu) The original Survivor goddess quickly discovered that this is not a game for goddesses.
  • Gabriel (Rotu) Probably the first sign that this season was going to be absolutely merciless to everyone.
  • Gina (Maraamu) See: Gabriel.
  • Rob (Maraamu) "Boston Rob" was born to play Survivor, and proved a couple different ways that he was also born to win it.  Just not this time.
  • John (Rotu) Became a victim of the horrible quagmire this season became.
  • Zoe (Rotu) Proved that country character doesn't come from Maine.
  • Tammy (Rotu) Do you see where the rest of her tribe was headed?
  • Robert (Rotu) The "General" left a memorable voice behind.
  • Sean (Maraamu) One of the players that rode a relationship rather than an alliance far into the game.
  • Paschal (Rotu) The creepier version of "Kentucky Joe."
  • Kathy (Rotu) After "Boston Rob," the only other truly likable player from the season.
  • Neleh (Rotu) The weirdo who benefited in all the wrong ways from her relationship with Paschal.
  • Vecepia (Maraamu) The winner by default after the strange alliance that glommed onto Paschal and Neleh made it to the end.

Survivor: Africa

originally aired 10/11/2001-1/10/2002

The order in which players left the game, and the impact they left behind:


  • Diane (Boran) The second typical first-person-voted-out in Survivor history.
  • Jessie (Boran) Voted out because she was sick, with the kind of shortsightedness to overlook what she could have contributed once she got better.
  • Carl (Samburu) If you're going to be old, you'd better have a better hook among your tribemates.
  • Linda (Samburu) It helps for that hook to work in your favor.
  • Silas (Samburu) The first victim of a Survivor twist, swapping tribes and not being at all prepared to deal with it.
  • Lindsey (Samburu) On the wrong side of any kind of numbers, and certainly in her own modified tribe.
  • Clarence (Boran) Made himself too obvious a target.  Unfortunately for him his tribe could survive well enough without him.
  • Kelly (Boran) Victim of the numbers.
  • Brandon (Samburu) Proved more effective in the game than he seemed, one of the first overt gays to compete.
  • Frank (Samuru) Virtually the second coming of Mike Skupin, made an unlikely companion with Brandon at a reward challenge movie screening.
  • Kim (Samburu) This season's version of the Survivor sweetheart.
  • Teresa (Samburu) Last of her tribe.
  • Tom (Boran) "Big Tom" is the kind of outsize personality that this game loves.
  • Lex (Boran) The punk rocker who surprisingly played the game really well, even if he doesn't realize the way he plays can never get him to the end, abrasive but loyal.
  • Kim (Boran) The kindly older lady who didn't win.
  • Ethan (Boran) The third winner is still the model winner for anyone who wants to play and win with integrity, based on their own merit.  Apparently an incredibly hard model to follow.

Survivor: The Australian Outback

originally aired 1/28/2001-5/3/2001

The order in which players left the game, and the impact they left behind:


  • Debb (Kucha) The prototypical Survivor outcast who was probably doomed to be voted out first.
  • Kel (Ogakor) The unfortunate first victim of the new Survivor order, players so busy strategizing that they inadvertently vote out a strength they'll need rather than keep him around, and being too stupid to realize how stupid it is to do so.
  • Mad Dog (Ogakor) Another victim of being outside of an alliance that was too busy excluding individuals to know what was good for it.
  • Mitchell (Ogakor) This should have been the first clue any future alliance needed to know how not to do alliances, because Mitchell was part of it, and because of all those bad decisions found himself going home early.
  • Kimmi (Kucha) She could eat a worm.  But not much else.
  • Michael (Kucha) Looked like a lunatic early on.  Killed a pig.  Everyone fell in love with him.  Then he fell into a fire and was the first evacuee in Survivor history.  Changed the course of the entire game.
  • Jeff (Kucha) First victim of the shift in the season, otherwise a strong competitor and a fun personality.
  • Alicia (Kucha) Strong competitor and stronger personality.  Famous for wiggling her finger in Kimmi's face, a move she assured her tribemate that she would always do.
  • Jerri (Ogakor) The original vixen, and the first Survivor to outsmart themselves right out of the game.  
  • Nick (Kucha) Didn't leave much of an impression.  Would have been strictly numbers no matter where things went.
  • Amber (Ogakor) Left a far bigger impression later.  Otherwise known as a pretty face.
  • Roger (Kucha) "Kentucky Joe" was unfortunately not the last older man to last long in the game on the strength of his friendship/father figure relationship with a younger woman.  It's always creepy.
  • Elisabeth (Kucha) Achieved lasting fame outside of the game.  Still known as a Survivor sweetheart.
  • Keith (Ogakor) The cook who "couldn't cook rice," at least as crazy people in the Australian Outback determine it.  Proposed in an instant chat.
  • Colby (Ogakor) The original Survivor superman, all but had the win in hand, but made the personal choice to go out competitively.
  • Tina (Ogakor) The first winner to benefit from the jury choosing the story over the worthiness, simply making it to the finals as reason enough to be voted the million.

Survivor: Borneo

originally aired 5/31/2000-8/23/2000

This remains my favorite season of the competition, possibly because the concept was as fresh for the participants as for the viewer, and an outlining how participants and how they left helps illustrate that:


  • Sonja (Tagi) The wonderful old lady who survived cancer but not Richard Hatch, the original mother figure and obvious to anyone not expecting a traditional reality show experience to be the first to go.
  • B.B. (Pagong) Crotchety old man set the standard for being too bossy and believing in his own superiority.  The first and perhaps last smart movie Pagong made as a tribe.
  • Stacey (Tagi) Famously supported the belief that the producers had her tribe vote her own in favor of keeping Rudy around.  Honestly, even if it's true, thank you Tagi.
  • Ramona (Pagong) The first official casualty of the physical demands required the play the game, and also the first to prove that it's as much surviving the elements as your own tribemates that gets you further.
  • Dirk (Tagi) His legacy is being the first obvious Christian to play the game.  Otherwise an extraneous piece of the Tagi puzzle.
  • Joel (Pagong) "Captain America" was a victim of Pagong not realizing that staying strong as a team means putting personal differences aside.  But no one on Pagong realized that numbers equals money in this game.
  • Gretchen (Pagong) In some other version of this game, she would have been an obvious winner.  Except she was purely Pagong.  Never realized that she was playing this one.
  • Greg (Pagong) The only Pagong who knew what he was doing, but he also used a coconut phone.  The best personality of the season, ended up on the wrong tribe.  
  • Jenna (Pagong) The template for the bubbly ditz, even if she still thinks she was anything else.  Known for not getting a video from her babies.
  • Gervase (Pagong) Another giant of personality from the season, voted out as the "Sitting Duck," because he lasted long enough to realize Tagi knew what it was doing.
  • Colleen (Pagong) The original Survivor sweetheart, the erstwhile "Target," Greg's snuggle buddy, and the first contestant to be the last member of their tribe.
  • Sean (Tagi) The doctor of questionable sanity inadvertantly supported the Tagi alliance thanks to his inane alphabet voting method.  He is also the creator of Super Pole 2000, for what it's worth.
  • Susan (Tagi) Made immortal by her speech at the final tribal council comparing Kelly and Richard to the two kinds of creatures that they all got to know living on the island, being rats and snakes, and declaring that in the end it should be as nature intended it, for the snake to eat the rat.  
  • Rudy (Tagi) The more famous crotchety old man, and the one with all the inadvertently hilarious one-liners.  He's also most responsible for Richard's win, being the first player of unquestioning loyalty in the game as well as part of the original alliance.
  • Kelly (Tagi) She tried to have it both ways and discovered that this game almost as a rule simply won't allow it: you can't use trying to be everyone's friend as your best strategy.  Of course as a backup she also took part, increasingly reluctantly, in the original alliance, but discovered that people respect running the alliance at more than playing along with the alliance, no matter how you spin it.
  • Richard (Tagi) The first winner in Survivor history was cocky enough to say he would be in the first episode, and I agreed, because it was obvious that he was there to play and no one else was.  He started out being abrasive to his tribe, but wisely backed off and did what was necessary to ensure his survival, and that didn't mean that he would be the best around camp or at challenges, but rather in the social game, in which he formed the original alliance around himself.  

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Survivor: Philippines Finale Thoughts

Sunday night was the finale of Survivor: Philippines, the twenty-fifth season of the long-running reality show.  It struck me, even though I've been watching since the first episode of the first season, that I'm still learning how this game works.

I went into the the final tribal council firmly believing that either Lisa or Mike Skupin was going to win, and was pretty convinced that it would be Mike, because Lisa had made more obvious strategic moves that would alienate the jury and Denise was basically the nonentity who rode their coattails, and yet...Denise ended up winning pretty convincingly in the actual votes.

Even during the jury comment portion of tribal council, I was convinced I was right.  Jeff Kent made comments I believed would sway votes.  Jonathan Penner made comments I believed would sway votes.  Malcolm made comments I really believed would sway votes.

And yet the vote came down to what everyone in the Philippines had been saying, that Denise would win.  I didn't see it because I was watching not as a participant but as a viewer.  Malcolm's comment about appeasing was really the relevant perspective, and I guess I should have listened more closely.

Time and time again I've watched from the obvious TV perspective.  I've seen players in the finals who easily should have won (Amanda, twice, most notoriously for me) if only the final tribal council had been taking my perspective rather than its own.  Heck, I remain baffled as to how Tom and Ian would view Katie any differently than I did, and I respect the hell out of Tom and Ian and not at all out of Katie.

They saw something very different from I did.  They didn't see the edit.  They saw Katie.  I guess the jury in the Philippines saw Denise as the ultimate appeaser.

Mike Skupin had the best story, hands down.  Maybe his tribemates didn't appreciate it, but the viewer certainly did.  Maybe he should have come back in a Fans vs. Favorites season.  Maybe that would have made a difference.  Skupin transformed himself from the guy everyone wanted out in Survivor: The Australian Outback to the guy they all hated to see go.  When he came back eleven years later, he was once again the guy everyone wanted out, and yet he stuck around because he figured out how to play the game instead of merely be one of the few players who knew how to live out in the middle of nowhere.

Penner pointed out that for all the talk of wanting Skupin out, he never actually had votes cast against him.  Part of that was because Survivor: Philippines was full of castaways ready and willing to outstrategize each other, but none more than themselves, as Penner and Jeff Kent found out (and perhaps even Abi).  Increasingly, Survivor has become a game of attrition, where you don't live or die on tribal council or immunity idols, but on your own alliances, whether or not you can stick with them, whether or not you flip to another one entirely.  This is something that began in the first season.  After all, how dull would that final tribal council have been if Kelly hadn't very nearly flopped out of the original Survivor alliance, and thus deprived us of Sue Hawk's ultimate jury member speech?

By the way, I think Sue was finally topped, and by an actor, the only breed of human capable of doing Sue and all her current cable reality show brethren one better.  (Which reminds me, why doesn't Sue Hawk have her own reality show yet?  I mean, Colby, who has the personality of a jock strap, hosts his own cable reality show.)  Penner's outing of Lisa as a former TV star (The Facts of Life, in case you missed it) was done so brilliantly, whatever chance she had of upsetting Denise was completely shattered, and everyone knows it.

The jury at the reunion indicated that Malcolm wouldn't have had a shot at beating Denise had he had the chance, which is another indication of the wide disconnect between the castaways and the viewer. He's the one who vied with Lisa for the season's most popular player.  I doubt Denise was up there.  When Jeff talked to her about the reception she's gotten, it was about her clients.  When he talked to Malcolm about it, it was about the people on the street.

You can always tell when Jeff himself isn't impressed with the winner.  That's what makes Jeff Probst so special.  He's the show's biggest fan and everyone knows it.  I was starting to doubt it last season, but then there was a lot of emotional upheaval about Survivor: One World, and it's taken me a while to reconcile Kim as the worthy winner, even though she was an early personal pick.  I just didn't like how she went about it.

Did Denise deserve to win Survivor: Philippines?  Absolutely.  Do I still think that if Survivor were like American Idol, Skupin would have had the shot I thought he did?  Absolutely.  Although clearly it would have been Lisa in that instance.  I loved Dalton Ross gushing over her all season in his EW commentaries.  She deserved it.

It was a good season, as everyone was saying, very memorable and worth more than just seeing Penner and Skupin get another shot.  Skupin made it very far, redeeming himself even though revealing himself as Survivor's biggest klutz (you are relieved, Boo).  Penner will always remain a personal favorite, one of the best players to never win, perhaps the best (or that could be Ozzy).  Malcolm deserves his second shot (though I will not provide spoilers for what I know about Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites), even if he wasn't quite everything he seemed to be at one point (though far more than he seemed at an earlier point).

As for me, I will try watching future seasons not just from the viewer's perspective, but from the one of the people lucky enough to play it.  After all, I did pick Rich to win Borneo, from the moment he first spoke.  Beginner's luck?  I hope not.